


Left Behind

by Hyperionova



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Drabbles, High School, Humour, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-21 02:08:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 22,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10675497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyperionova/pseuds/Hyperionova
Summary: Just a bunch of drabbles I wrote to appease my Sekai hunger. Some of them I didn't get around finishing, some were just written for my own entertainment. I just thought I'll post them here for you to read and imagine the rest for yourselves ;)





	1. He Is Tired...

He is tired. He has given up. He has expended far too much of his energy on sobbing. He doesn’t think he has any tears left in him to shed. He isn’t sure how sitting on the roadside after dark would help his case, but he has nowhere else to go for the time being.

So, he sits there, staring into the empty night with a pain in his chest. His tired and sore eyes are lost.

_“Get out of my house.”_

_“I will not have a sodomite for a son.”_

_“You are not our son.”_

He didn’t ask to be born this way. He didn’t ask to fall for a boy. If only he had the strength of will to lose a part of himself and fake happiness by living a false life just so that he could get into heaven, he would. After months of struggling with recurrent depression, everything has finally crashed and burned.

Sehun pushes himself up to his feet and walks towards the school.

The cheers and screams ring in his ears as he lifelessly drags his feet down the steps of the bleachers during halftime. He spots Kai in the field, covered in sweat, his brilliant smile fuelled with a fire to win. Almost everyone from school is there to support their beloved soccer team in the final game. Sehun can’t believe he missed half of the most important game of Kai’s high school life that will get him countless scholarships and admissions into the most prestigious colleges in the state.

He is leaving and Sehun will not go with him. The chances of their relationship surviving after Kai’s graduation is pretty slim. Kai will be at a new place, around new people. People better than Sehun. People closer than Sehun. The mere thought of Kai falling out of love with him hurts more than being shunned by his own family.

“Sehun,” a classmate cries, waving at him from his seat. Sehun manages a smile and proceeds down the steps until he reaches the fence.

Kai is caught amid his team in a discussion. He rolls the long sleeves of his jersey and runs a hand through his wet, sweaty hair. Sehun raises his hands to cling onto the fence, his eyes burning with fresh tears again. If someone had told him that he will fall in love this hard, this fast a year ago, he would have sneered in that person’s face. But here he is, his heart breaking in agony at the thought of breaking up with Kai.

When Kai pulls away from the rest of his team, his gaze lands on Sehun and his face lights up like a Christmas tree. He ignores a teammate’s question and races towards Sehun at once. “Hey!” he calls out, leaping over the fence.

“Hey—” Sehun’s greeting is cut off when Kai lunges at Sehun and grabs his face with both clammy hands before crushing Sehun’s lips under his own. The crowd fires up with louder cheers as Kai cups the back of Sehun’s head and deepens the kiss, as though to put on a show for the spectators. Sehun, as always, yields to the warmth of Kai’s kiss without a fight. He will miss the scent of Kai’s skin, his laboured breaths after soccer practice, the sweet flavour of his lips. He tastes the salt of Kai’s sweat along with the salt of his own tears on their lips.

Kai breaks the kiss and pulls back. “Sehun,” he says, his chest heaving for air. He holds a side of Sehun’s face and wipes the tears off his cheek. “Oh, my God, Sehun. What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Can we talk somewhere else?” Sehun asks, sniffling hard. He presses his hands on Kai’s hard chest and almost smiles at the familiar beat of his boyfriend’s heart.

“The match’s about to start again,” Kai says. “Why are you crying? Can you just tell me what happened?”

Sehun glances to the field and the teammates waiting for their captain. A sob blocks his airway when he thinks about ruining this match for Kai and the entire school. He thinks about the fact that he has no clue where he can spend the night now that his parents have kicked him out.

He smiles an unconvincing smile and curls a hand around Kai’s neck to press another firm kiss to Kai’s lips. Kai stares at him in a muddle of confusion, holding onto Sehun’s hips. “No, it’s nothing,” Sehun says and hugs Kai, wrapping him safe in his arms even if it’s just for a moment. Sliding his fingers into Kai’s hair, Sehun buries his face into the side of Kai’s neck.

“You’re scaring me, Sehun.”

“We’ll talk later. After the game,” Sehun mutters and withdraws from the embrace. Kai frowns at Sehun’s forced smile. “Good luck. Go, get em, tiger.”

He turns around to walk away, wiping the corners of his eyes. He stops dead in his tracks when Kai seizes his wrist. “I’m not going back there if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

Sehun swallows.

“Kai!” the coach yaps, but Kai disregards the man, keeping his focus on Sehun.

“It’s nothing, Kai,” Sehun lies. “My… family found out.”

Kai falls silent as the cheers grow louder when the teams jog back into the field. “What did they… say?”

Sehun stretches an arm out and pulls the sleeve up. Kai’s jaw falls like his heart has sunk when he sees the bruise on Sehun’s forearm. “My father… was so mad.”

“He hit you?” Kai spits through his teeth.

“And kicked me out of the house.”

“Sehun—”

“Kai, get your ass back here!” the couch roars with his patience running thin.

Sehun takes a step away from Kai. “Go, Kai. I’ll… I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Where are you going to stay if they kicked you out?”

“I’ll find a friend.”

“Fuck, Sehun. Come live with me.”

“So that your parents can freak out, too? It’s okay, Kai,” Sehun sighs. “I’ll manage. I’ll have to find a way, anyway since you’ll be leaving very soon.”

He thinks he could hear his heart shatter as he walks away, beads of tears flowing down his cheeks unchecked.

“Sehun,” Kai gasps and grabs Sehun’s hand. Sehun spins around with a start.

“What are you doing?” Sehun huffs. Everyone’s eyes have turned in Kai’s way again. “Kai, get back in the game.”

“No,” he says, taking hold of Sehun’s face in his hands. “I love you.”

Sehun’s breath hitches. Though they have been dating for a significant amount of time, neither of them has actually uttered those three words. Hearing them from Kai’s lips right now kills a part of him. “Kai…”

“You are more important to me, Sehun. Not this game.”

“Don’t be silly. Your sponsors are here, Kai. Go—” he is interrupted by Kai’s lips that onslaught his mouth. Sehun grabs a handful of Kai’s hair and breaks into a sob as they kiss. “I love you. I love you,” he rasps into Kai’s mouth, never wanting to let go of him ever again. They are young. Anything can happen. But for the time being, he wants to hold onto Kai a little longer.


	2. Some Say You...

 

“Some say you’re a fool if you choose to fall in love. I say love _is_ foolish. I also say no one _chooses_ to fall in love or the person they fall in love with. This is the poor apology for why many of us choose the wrong people to love. People who are incompatible with our own personality, our own complexion. If we _could_ choose, I’m sure we’d all choose to be happy. We’d choose the ones who’d understand us the best. The polarity between two very different personalities is both the making and the destruction of a relationship. People say opposites attract. I had been an avid believer of that. Until I realized it isn’t true. The opposites attract for a very short while and it is unbelievably sweet in the beginning. But after some stretch of time, the sweetness turns bitter and all the differences that you once loved will start to claw at your happiness, leaving you with nothing but regret in the end. If we had a choice, we’d choose the people who’d make it easy for us to love them. But nothing is as simple as that when it comes to this complicated trick of nature that we use as an excuse for all our stupid deeds.”

“So you’re saying there’s nothing nice about love?”

“I didn’t say that. When you love the right person, love is beautiful. Until it just isn’t anymore. Then everything just falls apart.”

 “So what happened?”

“Nothing. I don’t even know what happened. It just sort of did. And I let him go.”

“Do you regret that?”

“I don’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I know he doesn’t want me in his life anymore.”

“Do you think you still love him even after everything has fallen apart?”

“I do. That’s the problem.”

 

 *

 

“What do you mean by you’re leaving, Sehun?” Kai doesn’t raise his voice or give Sehun the reaction he is hoping for. He holds onto the nonchalance in his expression and calmly stares at Sehun.

His boyfriend, on the other hand, is reacting dramatically enough for the both of them. Sehun crosses his arms over his chest and sharply looks away. He thinks he’s keeping it cool and trying to not to cause a scene in the café, but he already is. That’s one of the things Kai isn’t too fond of his boyfriend. Sehun causes a scene and then blames it on Kai.

“I mean I’m leaving,” Sehun says blatantly.

“Leaving for New York or just leaving me?” Kai puts it simply, leaning back in the chair.

Sehun glances to him with a scowl. “Both, Kai. Both.” There is a silent subtext that reads _‘you dumbass’._

Kai lets out a breathy laugh and shakes his head. It irks Sehun. “Why are you doing this, Sehun?”

“Why don’t you answer that question yourself, Kai?”

Kai straightens up in his seat and props his arms on the table. “I really can’t.”

Gritting his teeth, Sehun clenches his fists. “Fine. It’s because of you.”

“Because of _me_?” Kai chuckles. “Why does it always have to be because me?”

“Because you’re impossible!” he snaps. “You want to live your life in _your_ carefree way and fine, you can do that. Just leave me out of it.”

Kai’s eyebrows furrow into a frown and he extends a hand to Sehun’s. Sehun harshly recoils. “Sehun,” he sighs. “Let’s just talk this out, okay?”

“I am tired of talking, Kai. It’s futile. Talking to you is like talking to a wall!”

“Jesus Christ!” Kai slumps back against the chair and clenches his jaw. “Why do you have to be so uptight all the time?!”

“ _I’m_ uptight?! You’re a good-for-nothing bastard!” he shoots up, almost knocking the chair over. Everyone’s looking at them. “You can just go and fool around with whoever that you want now, Kai. You can bloody live your life however you want. Like I said, just leave me out of it.”

Kai rises to his feet. “All because of one stupid argument?!”

“ _One_ stupid argument? Kai, you and I have had more arguments than anything else!” he picks up his laptop from the table. “I am done with you. This is over.”

Kai sneers and scoffs. “Really?”

Sehun’s expression hardens. “What? You think I’ll come crawling back to you? I think you know me well enough to know that once I decide I don’t want something in my life, I will throw it away like a useless piece of garbage,” he spits and hurls the apartment key at Kai. “And I’m throwing you away now.”

“So that’s it, then?”

Sehun walks around the table and stops before Kai. “Yeah. That’s it.”

Kai grabs hold of his wrist when Sehun starts to walk away. “Sehun, come on. Don’t be like this.”

Forcefully yanking his hand back, Sehun growls, “I cannot put up with your nonsense anymore, Kai. You can go and fuck yourself for all that I care now.”

Kai could neither stop him nor run after him because he doesn’t want to.

 

 *

 

“You’re a moron.”

“I know. But at that time, it seemed like the right thing to do.”

“Hmm… Well, he couldn’t have dumped you for _nothing_ , right? There must have been a solid reason for him to do it.”

“There is a reason. It’s just that I don’t find it solid enough to be a reason for a break-up.”

“What did you do wrong?”

“I was… being myself.”

“Oh, and he doesn’t like you being yourself?”

“Exactly! He doesn’t like me being myself, which means he doesn’t actually like _me._ This is me and he expects me to change for him.”

“Kai, tweaking yourself a little for the one you love isn’t such a bad thing. Looking at what you’ve told me so far, I feel like _you_ just drove him over the edge. Otherwise, why would he just break up with you out of the sudden?”

“Really? Why don’t you hear the whole story out first and then be the better judge of who drove whom over the edge?”

 

 *

 

It’s been a while since Mr Cho started droning. Kai has spaced out and he’s already tuned the old geezer out. All that holds Kai’s attention now is the pen flipping between his fingers. The necktie is suddenly choking his neck and he just wants to get out of the conference room. But he can’t because his boss will sack him if he does. He twiddles the pen, sinking lower into the seat.

“The prices will skyrocket and so will the company’s stock exchange. We need to be wary of investing in the share market this year,” Mr Cho says and none of it registers to Kai’s brain. He hates these meetings. Especially when he isn’t the one presenting something. He had planned in the morning to wear his best smile and be on his best behaviour today since the PR officers will attend the conference. Speaking of which, Kai turns around to glance to the two officers sitting at the end of the table. He hadn’t paid much attention to them before. Kai’s throat tightens and his eyes widen when he notices the lean, fair-skinned guy.

The pen slips between his fingers and drop to the ground, making an annoying clatter on the marble floor. Mr Cho pauses, interrupted by the noise. The cute PR officer looks to Kai at once. Everybody does.

“Sorry,” Kai mutters and picks up the pen. Mr Cho continues with his boring presentation and Kai glances to the brown-haired guy again. He’s smirking at him. Kai tries to smile back, but the guy turns his attention back to Mr Cho.

A string of swear words collects in the corners of Kai’s lips when he scans the guy’s face again. His rose pink lips are pouted a little in focus and his skin is flawless. _He_ is flawless. The black shirt is elegantly clinging to his svelte body and Kai’s eyes are already raking the guy for more skin. Kai shifts in his seat to get a better view of the guy, but his elbow slams into the mug and he knocks it over the table. The mug shatters to the ground after spilling its warm content on Kai’s crotch and the coffee spurts all over his shoes and his pants by the shins. Someone gasps as Kai jolts up to his feet. He hears a soft chuckle and another gasp. “Fuck,” he hisses with the warmth of the coffee seeping into his pants’ fly and stings his crotch.

“Kim Kai!” Mr Cho yawps. “Get out of here!”

Kai picks up his spectacles and hurries to the door. He sees the hot guy’s ballooned eyes as he gapes at Kai in something like horror and amusement. Kai storms out of the room and runs straight to the washroom.

He stops before the mirror and wants to bury himself there. The coffee on his pants looks like he has peed his pants. “Shit,” he spits and starts to dap some toilet paper onto his soaked pants.

“That’s not going to help,” he hears a foreign voice and looks up in a panic.

It’s the cute one.

He’s wearing a bemused smirk as he walks over and crosses his arms over his chest. Kai groans and grabs more toilet paper. “My dick is burning,” he mutters, unzipping the fly of his pants.

The cute guy clears his throat, still sneering and crosses his arms over his chest. Kai’s eyes lower to the tag around his neck. _Oh Sehun. PR Officer._

Sehun. It’s a nice name. But he doesn’t tell him that because he’s too busy being embarrassed to death.

 “Don’t beat yourself for it,” Sehun says, laughing a little. “I was falling asleep in there.”

“Am I supposed to feel better about that?” Kai scoffs.

“Well, no. But maybe this would,” he hands Kai a card with his name and number. “Call me if you wanna go out for a drink or something.”

With that, Sehun storms out of the washroom. _Damn_ , Kai thinks to himself. _Did that just happen?_

 

 *

 

“Really? You got him with just the first meeting?”

“Yeah. I couldn’t believe it either. It felt surreal. But then again, I get a lot of people’s numbers. But honestly, he just seemed so much more special.”

“So I’m guessing you guys went out for a drink.”

“More than a drink. It felt magical then. Everything about him just made my heart swell and I just wanted more and more of him.”

“Okay, then what happened?”

“Then we got into a serious relationship. That’s where the problem began.”

 

 

* * *

 

Kai doesn’t want to believe that this guy, this beautiful, ethereal guy who can kill him with just a look is in his apartment, sitting on the couch, watching _How I Met Your Mother_. A month ago, Kai never would have even pegged himself to be the man who gets into relationships and have partners. But all of him now want Sehun to be his everything.

This is the first time Sehun has ever agreed to come to his place, so Kai plans on making as many moves as he can tonight. He wants to keep Sehun.

“Coke or Pepsi?” Kai asks, holding the cans up as he returns to the living room.

“Coke,” Sehun says.

After handing him the can, Kai settles on the couch beside Sehun. He tries to keep his eyes on the TV, but he finds himself ogling Sehun’s thighs. He drags his gaze up to the side of Sehun’s neck and licks his lips. They have kissed twice before, but Sehun doesn’t seem like the guy who likes to be touched too much. He even told Kai to never touch his food and to stay in his side of the table whenever they went out for lunch or dinner. Unfortunately, Kai is the type of guy who likes to touch and taste as much as he can. So right now, the vein in Sehun’s neck and the unblemished milky skin are very tempting.

Kai gently drapes an arm over Sehun’s shoulders. Sehun doesn’t react as he keeps his concentration on the TV. Kai studies the side profile of Sehun’s face and heaves a soft sigh. Sehun’s lips are just so full and plush and so pink. They’re practically blooming like the sweetest flower. He can’t take it anymore. He leans in and brushes his lips on the side of Sehun’s neck. He pulls back and notices the sly smirk on the corner of Sehun’s lips although Sehun keeps his eyes on the sitcom.

Acknowledging that as an encouragement, Kai slides a hand over Sehun’s thigh and kisses Sehun’s neck again. A raspy breath escapes Sehun’s lips when Kai grips the inside of his thigh and sucks the skin near Sehun’s jaw.

“How many boyfriends have you had before?” Sehun’s sudden and untoward questions throws Kai off.

Kai straightens up and retrieves his hand. “What?”

Sehun smiles, facing him. “It’s a simple question. How many boyfriends or girlfriends have you had before?”

“Uh…” Kai drags on, blinking vacantly. “Why are you asking that now? It doesn’t really matter,” he mumbles and leans in again. He starts to pepper Sehun’s cheek with kisses before Sehun pulls away.

“It does matter to me,” he says, sporting a scowl. That is the first time Kai has ever seen him scowl.

“I thought you don’t care about my past,” Kai says in a low voice, trying to hold Sehun’s hand.

“Well, I don’t. But it’s a very simple question. You could just answer that.”

Kai frowns. “I don’t think I’ve had any boyfriends or girlfriends,” he sighs and Sehun’s eyes widen.

“Really?”

“Uh, I’ve been around with people. But I don’t think they’re considered to be relationships.”

That does it. Sehun shoots up to his feet, wearing a murderous expression. “How many people?!”

Kai doesn’t understand Sehun’s sudden outrage and exasperation. “I don’t know, Sehun. Why are you interrogating me about this stuff?”

Sehun lets out a mocking laughter and folds his arms over his chest. “So am I one of these people you fool around with?”

Kai stands up. “No! Of course, not! I like you, Sehun.” He cups Sehun’s cheeks. “I’m sorry if you didn’t want to hear that. I swear to God, I’ve never liked anyone as much as I like you. It’s driving me crazy.”

Sehun’s expression softens a little. “Really?”

“Yes. God, yes!” he pulls Sehun into a feverous kiss and only for a moment, Sehun doesn’t mind the desperate kiss. He clings onto Kai’s shirt by the chest and kisses him back. Their lips mould into one and Kai feels Sehun’s hot breath surge into his mouth when he gasps. Their tongues graze one another and their teeth clatter. Kai wants to push Sehun down to the couch and rip his clothes off, but then Sehun pulls back, withdrawing completely from the kiss.

“I have to go home,” he pants, eyes closed, and presses their foreheads together.

“What?” Kai rasps. “Why?”

“I have a report to write first thing tomorrow morning,” Sehun pulls away and grabs his jacket from the couch. “I’ll see you later.”

 

 *

 

“That sucks.”

“I know. But it didn’t stop there. He gave me just enough to keep on the hook, but never really gave me all of him. Which was okay, because I loved him. It was different with him. So I wanted to try my level best for him.”

“Let me guess. Your level best wasn’t good enough for him.”

“Not even in the slightest. I thought it would get better after that night, but things got out of hand way too quick and before I even realized it, he was driving me crazy for real. And not in the good, healthy way. Pretty soon, it was just toxic.”

“Whoa. Was it that bad?”

“You have no idea.”

 

*

 

Sehun doesn’t talk to him the whole way to the hotel. He keeps his eyes out the car’s window and doesn’t respond with more than an ‘ _hmm’_ and an ‘ _oh’_ whenever Kai says something. Although Sehun has made it clear that he has forgiven Kai for what had happened in the nightclub two nights ago, he sure as hell does still look like he’s on a warpath to destroy Kai. It wasn’t Kai’s fault. Firstly, it had been Sehun’s idea to go to the nightclub to celebrate Kai’s promotion at work. Secondly, Kai wasn’t the one who went around, throwing himself onto people. Some random guy just showed up and started rubbing himself all over Kai. He was doing it because hell, it’s a nightclub! What does Sehun think happens over there? How is Kai to be blamed for that? This is just like last week when he bumped into an old girl friend of his and Sehun got all riled up because of a friendly hug. It happens every single time when Kai is around his friends. Sehun, at one point, told Kai that he shouldn’t hang out with his friends. Of course, Kai agreed to it, even though he never kept that promise.

How is that even fair? Kai is willing to sacrifice as much as he can for Sehun’s happiness, but sometimes, Sehun’s demands are downright insufferable. Kai has always been a carefree, friendly person. He doesn’t go around sleeping with people, but he has a lot of friends and never really takes things unnecessarily serious. In short, he’s a pretty happy-go-lucky person. He has a good job, he has a loving family on the other side of the town, he has enough friends to lighten up his life and he has Sehun. It took him a while to realize Sehun is the complete opposite to him. Nothing about their personalities fit, but that makes it all more exciting and thrilling.

“Are you planning to smile today?”

Sehun glances over to Kai with a grim glare. “What?”

Kai laughs. “I’m just saying you should try and smile a little today.”

“I have to smile because you want me to smile?”

A frown crosses Kai’s eyebrows. “Jesus, I did not say that.”

“What were you saying, then, Kai?”

Kai pulls the car into the parking basement of the hotel. “Look, I don’t want to fight today, okay?”

“Fight?” Sehun chuckles, but the laugh is lifeless. “So it’s about fighting with me all the time nowadays, huh? Wow, you must be really exhausted.”

Kai wants to slam his head into the steering wheel as he parks the car. He lets out a fatigued sigh and clasps a hand to Sehun’s knee. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I never mean whatever that you think I mean.”

“Oh, so I’m the one who misinterprets everything that you say?” he cocks an eyebrow.

Kai gives up. “Do you want to come inside or not?”

Sehun exits the car and Kai heaves a sigh, grabbing the flower bouquet from the backseat.

 

*

 

“That day, everything just exploded. The girl who was holding the birthday party was my close friend back in college. So she sort of blurted out some of my goddamn stories about frat parties. And the fact that I was _almost_ involved in a threesome. Sehun walked out of there and didn’t talk to me for days.”

“I can’t believe this. Is he really that possessive?”

“It’s not about being possessive. It’s about being right and being perfect all the time. He thinks anybody who’s with him or anybody who’s allowed to even be friends with him should be _perfect_. In his eyes, I was nowhere near perfect. I mean, who is?”

“Do you think Sehun is perfect?”

“No! Of course, not. And I don’t expect him to be perfect. I love him the way he was… Well, maybe not all the seriousness and the rule that I can’t look at anyone else or talk to anyone who’s prettier than him. But _he_ thinks he’s perfect and God, I just couldn’t keep up with his unpredictable behaviour. I couldn’t figure out what he likes and what he doesn’t. And I had to have a filter in my brain whenever I wanted to say something because 80 per cent of what I said angered him.”

“That’s kind of sick.”

“I know. To him, if I even looked at another person, I’ve cheated on him. But the truth is, I’m extra nice to everyone and I honestly didn’t want to touch anyone but him. I really didn’t.”

“So what was the straw that broke the camel’s back?”

“It happened because I finally argued back.”

 

*

 

Kai really does hate working for Mr Cho. He’s sure most bosses shove their second-fiddle subordinates around as they wish, but Mr Cho has this habit of asking Kai to run errands in the middle of the night. When he returns to his apartment, it’s already thirteen past one and the night is just murdering his senses.

His heart jumps to his throat when he finds the door unlocked. Sehun must be here. Grinning from ear to ear, Kai bursts into the apartment. “Sehun,” he calls in a gasp and shuts the door behind him.

Sehun is perched on the couch and he doesn’t even look in Kai’s way.

“Where were you?” he asks.

“Oh,” Kai tosses his car keys to the sideboard and takes his shoes off. “My boss asked me to hand a folder over to the COO.”

“At this hour?” Sehun snorts and Kai recognizes the edge in his tone.

He sighs. “Yes, Sehun. At this hour.” He pulls his coat off and walks over to the couch. Sehun rises to his feet.

“Really? Were you being your boss’ bitch or were you being some whore’s bitch?”

Kai freezes for a second before his blood run cold. “Sehun, you know about my job.”

“Well, maybe. Maybe you were just sleeping with the bitch you were flirting with yesterday.”

“For Christ’s sake,” Kai groans, rubbing his temples. “Sehun, I’m tired. I have to wake up early tomorrow. So if you’re here to just nag me, can you leave?”

“Sure, Kai,” he spits and shoves Kai back by the chest. “Sure. I’ll leave!”

“Sehun, what the hell is your problem, seriously? Why can’t you fucking trust me, huh?!”

“I only trust people who are worthy of my trust.”

“I’m your boyfriend, Sehun. You need to start trusting me.”

“How about you act like it first?!”

“How about you stop being a total bitch 24/7?!”

That ends the argument. Kai is just exhausted. His neck is already sore and Sehun is being an extra pain in it. Shaking his head, Sehun just silently leaves.

 

 

* * *

 

“That… is the reason for your break-up? But nothing even happened.”

“That’s what I’m saying,” Kai breathes out, leaning his head back on the headrest of the seat. He smiles at the airhostess who offers him a glass of juice. “Thanks.”

As he takes a swig of the apple juice, Jongin stares at him with a perturbed look etched on his face. “How could you still be in love with someone like him?”

Kai shrugs, sighing. “I don’t know.”

“I can never be with anyone like him.” Jongin murmurs, looking away, gnawing on his lower lip.

“Well, maybe because I only told you about his bad sides and why we broke up.”

“Okay, then tell me about his good sides.”

Kai falls silent for a second. “He has a nice ass.”

Jongin laughs and rolls his eyes. “I bet he does, brother.

Kai mimics his twin brother’s laughter and rests back against the seat. There’s still a couple of hours for the plane to land. “He’s kind,” he exhales. “He’s so kind. He goes to this orphanage every weekend and spends an entire day there. He pets every stray animal he sees. He’s such a nice person. Maybe I just brought the worst out of him. Maybe it’s just me he couldn’t stand.”

“Has ever been in relationships before you?”

“No,” Kai says, facing his brother again. “Why are you asking?”

“That’s probably why he was so obsessed over you.”

“He wasn’t obsessed, Jongin. He just wanted me to be his puppet and when he realized I couldn’t, he left.”

“Whatever it is, it just sounds so exhausting.”

Kai smiles. “Well, it’s just my bad luck, I guess. I let go of the best thing that happened to me.”

Straightening up in his seat, Jongin playfully hits Kai’s arm. “Hey, come on, Kai. Think of it this way. You’re finally free from the clutches of a masochist.”

“I loved that masochist, Jongin.”

“And I’m sorry for you.”

“Come on, quit joking.”

Jongin laughs. Kai misses that laugh. They might be twins, but they have such different charismas and tastes. However, they are still brothers and perhaps because of that, they share somewhat similar personalities. It’s been nine years since Kai last saw his brother. His brother is a journalist, so he travels a lot. Sometimes, Kai sees him on the TV or his name on some online articles.

“So why did you just let him go?” Jongin asks.

Kai shrugs, looking up at the ceiling of the plane. “I don’t know. I guess I had no firm reason to hold him back. My love was a joke to him. I couldn’t convince him.”

Jongin nods his head and pats Kai’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, brother. We’ll get him back.”

Kai snorts. “Look. I’m not going to New York for that. And you’re not tagging along for that either. You’re going to help me with my job and that’s it. We’re not gonna go looking for Sehun. It’s done. We’re done.”

“Uh-huh,” Jongin snatches the phone from Kai’s hand and holds it up as the screen flashes bright. Kai stares at Sehun’s picture and his heart clenches. “Your lock screen and your eyes say otherwise.”

Kai grabs his phone back. “I still love him. But I’m not going to keep hoping that there’s some kind of a future for us.”

 


	3. Venom-like Words

“My generosity extends to those who merit any sort of amiability, which you, my friend, fall short of,” Kai’s tone is just as threatening as his snarl when he spits out the venom-like words. Pinned against the lockers, Sehun has nowhere to run. He could not escape the wrath in Kai’s auric dark eyes. The older man’s breathing is hard and laboured, as though he had just run a marathon. His chest heaves, his eyes are on fire, and every inch of his muscles is strained with anger. He would have killed Sehun by now if they had not been standing in the school’s hallway, with countless ballooned eyes staring at them. Shixun’s included. Sehun hesitantly looks over Kai’s shoulder and finds his twin brother gawking stupidly at the scene.

When Kai slams his fist into the locker near Sehun’s head, Sehun clenches his eyes shut, tightly hugging the textbooks to his chest. “I-I’m s-sorry,” he squeaks out, though he knows it would not make much of a difference. Kai is far too frenzied and outraged right now to entertain half-hearted apologies. But he really is sorry, to some extent. He had wanted clarifications. He had never meant to hurt or antagonise Kai in the process.

“My history is my business and my business alone. Who are you to do a background check on me, huh? You will do well to understand this _very_ clearly, Oh Sehun. I am not obliged to tolerate you or your peculiar unduly spirit of inquisitiveness. So, quit prying on me and my affairs!” he slams his hand once again into the locker, startling Sehun to his wits.

Shixun throws himself between them and brings a hand to Kai’s chest at an attempt to push him away from Sehun. The pure rage in Kai’s eyes fades into something unreadable when he meets Shixun’s worried and pleading face. Clenching his jaw, Kai plunges his hands into the coat and stomps away. Sehun finally breathes again as he slides to the ground, dropping the textbooks along with his weight.

Shixun curls an arm around Sehun and looks at him worriedly. Sucking in a shaky breath, Sehun drops his blurry gaze to his pale hands. “I screwed up big time,” he lets out. Shixun tightens his arm around him, gently stroking Sehun’s back.

“Is everything all right?” he brings his head up to greet Chanyeol with a solemnly crestfallen look. Chanyeol, frowning and curious, lowers to a crouch and clasps a hand to Sehun’s knee. “What was that all about, mate? You have a row with Kim or something?”

“No,” Sehun pants out, shaking his head. “No, I don’t.”

Shixun lifts his hands to ask, **_then what has happened?_**

Sehun buries his face in his palms to steady his breathing.

“Come on. Get up,” Chanyeol urges him. “You’re causing a scene.” He pulls Sehun up to his feet as Shixun gathers Sehun’s textbooks. People are still staring, but they stop as soon as the bell rings ferociously. “Since when do you and Kim even talk?”

 ** _Since the literature project they had to do together_** , Shixun informs Chanyeol, who only vacantly observes Shixun’s swiftly moving hands.

Sehun’s stomach shifts and he retches, immediately clasping a hand over his mouth. Handing the books over to Chanyeol, Shixun protectively leads Sehun to the boys’ toilet, where Sehun finally heaves, spewing his last meal out and into the toilet. Shixun’s soothing hand continuously rubs his back as he coughs agonisingly.

“I’m fine,” he croaks out, rushing out of the stall to rinse his mouth thoroughly. He notices his brother’s worried frown in the mirror. “I really am.” He is not fine. Not in the slightest degree or any respect. He had seen the murderous intent in Kai’s eyes. He is not safe anymore. Kai did not kill him today, but he can certainly try to kill him in the near future to hide whatever that he is trying to hide. Sehun is only a few inches from uncovering his secrets.

 ** _You don’t look fine_** , Shixun declares with his hands. **_Let’s get you home._**

Sehun does not disagree with that. He does not think he has the energy to face the rest of the day. He turns around to face his brother. **_I’m sorry_**. He uses the sign language because any verbal and vocal communication seems too taxing at the moment. Besides, he has always been more comfortable with the sign language whenever he is communicating with his deaf-mute brother, though Shixun is quite adept at lip-reading.

Shixun’s frown deepens. **_Don’t be. We will talk about it when you are feeling better. For now, let’s go home._**

They stop short on their way out when Sehun completely freezes, a hand gripping Shixun’s arm. Shixun desperately tries to meet Sehun’s eyes and when he succeeds, Sehun almost breaks apart. “I was right, Shixun.”

Shixun looks confused. **_About what?_**

“About him,” he lowers his voice and uses his hands instead. **_He is not what he appears to be. There is something wrong about him and he… fears that I will find out what that is._**

All that Shixun does is give a disappointed look again.

“I swear,” Sehun hisses. “He knows that I have come close. He is going to… kill me.”

 ** _Enough with this_** , Shixun’s hands tell him while his eyes are both sad and woebegone. **_You have become obsessed with him. You are paranoid. He is eccentric, that is all. You are overthinking this._**

“I’m not,” Sehun mutters quietly and heaves in a deep breath. “Fine. Let’s just go.”

“Oh my,” Mrs Rivera’s sudden gasp halts them in their tracks. “Shixun,” she calls, tenderly smiling at her favourite student. “Don’t you have a class now?”

 ** _My brother is not feeling well. I’m taking him home_** , he imparts to the head staff of school’s Disability Support Unit.

“Oh, I see. Are you okay, Sehun?” Sehun only nods shakily to her question. “Well, I will not hold you for long, then. I was wondering if you are still willing to be our pianist for the Fall Dance.”

Shixun bows his head in agreement, though the rush is palpable in his mien. **_I will be honoured to help._**

“Great,” she pats him on the shoulder, offering him a grateful grin. “I’m absolutely delighted. All right, go now. I will inform your teachers if you’d like.”

 ** _Thank you, Mrs Rivera_** , Shixun quickly takes Sehun’s side again. They pause only to grab their jackets and bags from their twin lockers before they head to the parking lot, where their shared silver Prius stands. Sehun lets his brother take control of the wheel this time.

 

* * *

 

“Well, you’re both home early,” their stepmother says, abandoning her knitting tools as soon as they stumble into the living room. “What’s wrong?”

 ** _Sehun is not feeling well_** , Shixun lets her know and for that, Sehun is not so grateful. His stepmother rushes to his side with a gasp of concern.

“Are you having a fever?” she inquires, looking genuinely worried.

“I may be developing one, but don’t worry. I’m not _that_ sick,” he assures her with a thin smile and starts up the staircase. Their house is not exactly big. It is a small town; nobody’s house is big. Except Kim Kai’s. He owns the biggest house and vastest land in the secluded town, which he affords due to the big lump of fortune his grandfather has left him—or so he says.

He collapses on the bed and palms his burning forehead, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. Shixun stops at the doorway, arms crossed over his chest.

“I’m not imagining things, Shixun,” Sehun says before he realises his brother will not be able to read his lips from this angle. So, he sits up and faces Shixun, who silently walks into the room and closes the door behind him. **_I’m not imagining things._**

Shixun perches on the edge of the desk, facing Sehun. **_Even if you are not, I think it is about time you stop this obsession of yours._**

“I am _not_ obsessed with him!” he throws his hands up in exasperation.

 ** _Your actions speak otherwise_** , he sighs heavily. He looks more concerned than annoyed. He always does. He treats Sehun like a fragile little glass that might break at any moment, even when _he_ is the most vulnerable and easily deceived person Sehun has ever known. Even when he knows he has gotten himself hurt more times than Sehun has. Growing up as someone with more than one disability was not easy on Shixun. He has been an object of ridicule to some and a subject of sympathy to others all his life. No one sees him as a… _person_ and oftentimes, it infuriates Sehun to the extent that he has gotten into multiple fights with people for Shixun’s sake. In spite of it all, Shixun tries to remain strong and that is his most admirable quality.

Notwithstanding the fact that they are twins, Sehun is a walking contradiction to Shixun’s existence. While Shixun is careful, Sehun is reckless. While Shixun is conventional, Sehun is original. While Shixun is obedient, Sehun is rebellious. Shixun is often lost in his own, silent world. Sehun likes to be around screaming crowds. Shixun has his own sanctuary, which he alone can enter and when he is in it, he is the safest. Nothing can harm him and he will never allow anyone into that sanctuary, where only his heart resides. Sehun is quite the contrary. He is curious, always has been. Naturally, that is what has landed him in the inconvenience with Kai in the first place.

He snaps out of his thoughts when Shixun waves his hand before his face. **_Are you okay?_**

Sehun nods his head and then shakes it. **_He is going to hurt me._**

Shixun rolls his eyes, rubbing his temples. **_Okay, Sehun. Do you want to tell Dad and Steph about it?_**

“No!”

**_Then, what do you want to do about it?_ **

Sehun worries his low er lip, gnawing at it. “I was at his house last night,” he blurts out in a breath and looks up at his brother.

Shixun’s eyes widen. **_You were… at his place?_**

Sehun nods again. “I was. I don’t know how he found out… I didn’t leave any… clues.”

Shixun shoots up to his feet. **_That is trespassing, Sehun_** , he gestures with a furious scowl on his lips and eyebrows. **_He could have you arrested for that!_**

 ** _I know, I know_** , he runs a hand through his unkempt hair. “I found his journal,” he mutters and falls silent, waiting for Shixun to respond.

After a moment of paralysis, Shixun raises his hands. **_You trespassed private property and then you went through someone’s belongings without their permission. Are you trying to get into the detention center?!_**

Sehun rises and grabs his brother by his arms. “Look. He is weird! There is something wrong with him!”

That makes Shixun scowl a little and there is a sudden hurt behind his eyes. **_Yes, I have gotten that one too many times myself, too._**

Sehun groans and lets go of Shixun’s arms. “God! You know that I am not judging him. Not the way you think I do.”

**_Sehun, it does not matter. He is not your business! Whatever you think is wrong with him has nothing to do with you!_ **

“Oh, yeah? What about the recent killings in the town, huh? Ever since he came to Tryvell, four people have died!”

Shixun looks shook as he gapes at Sehun. **_You have completely lost your mind._** He turns his back to Sehun and gazes out the window. Drawing in a breath, Sehun forces his brother to turn and face him.

“I saw what he had written in his journal,” he fishes his phone out of his jacket’s pocket and looks for the pictures he had taken last night. “Here, look,” he holds the phone out to Shixun.

Shixun is reluctant at first, but the pictures of the journal pages immediately catch his undivided attention. **_What is this? Russian?_**

“I wondered the same, but no. I have been up all night going through the every last one of the alphabets in existence, including ancient characters and none of them matches to what he has written in his journals. And God, there were like more than a hundred handwritten journals!”

 ** _Slow down, I’m not following_** , Shixun gestures, looking desperate and baffled now.

**_These alphabets do not exist. Unless he has created his own language and characters, I doubt this is… human language._ **

Shixun shakes his head, gently banging it on the window. **_I wish I could hear how ridiculous you must sound now._**

Sehun tosses the phone to the bed and flumps onto it, cupping his nose and mouth. He lowers his hands and says, “He is going to make sure I keep my mouth shut about this. He has already threatened me in public today.”

**_Well, you should have thought about this before breaking into his house!_ **

“Oh, give me a break, Shixun! Why can’t you, for once, believe me?! Why can’t you be on my side?!”

Noticeable hurt crosses Shixun’s expression. He steps forward. **_I am always on your side. But this seems a little silly, Sehun. All of this does. Even for you._**

“Fine. Okay. Whatever. I’ll just…” he trails off, falling back on the bed.

 ** _Get some rest._** Shixun leans down to pull Sehun’s sneakers off and flashes a comforting smile before he ruffles Sehun’s hair. **_Kai is not going to hurt you, by the way. I won’t let him._**

Sehun lets out a heavy sigh. **_He really wanted to today, though._**

Shixun silently laughs. **_I would, too. If I found out you went through my journals._**

**_You don’t own any journal. Do you?_ **

Shixun shrugs and proceeds to his own room in the attic. Sehun tiredly throws an arm over his eyes to block the rest of the world out. The thing is, he could not even defend himself or deny anything when Kai came at him on full throttle today. He had… no one had ever seen the new boy in town even as obscurely mad, let alone have a complete outburst. Until today, Kai has been nothing but friendly to everyone and the guy who always volunteers to help anyone at any time. They had come a little closer during the group project for the English Literature class. Sehun’s suspicion about Kai’s true identity had risen way before that, though. It strikes him as odd that no one but him finds Kai’s account of the details of himself seems apprehensive and questionable. Oh, the cherry on top is the fact that Sehun had seen Kai the very night in the diciest corner of the town where a girl was found dead the next day. Well, it could have been a coincidence, but how is nobody bothered with Kai not sharing any _real_ details about his family? Insofar, he says that he was raised by his foster parents and that his biological parents are dead, which makes it all the more suspicious. God, hasn’t anyone even noticed the way he speaks? Like he is some royalty!

Okay, perhaps Shixun is right. Maybe Sehun is a little obsessed with Kai.

He tears his arm off his face and faintly glares at the ceiling when the soft melody reaches his ears. Shixun plays at odd hours. He plays whenever he is frustrated. He plays whenever he is sad or upset. He plays a lot. He plays the piano instead of crying. That is his way of expressing his misery. That is his way of being heard. To him, crying and music are the same thing. He can hear neither. But his belief is that why let people hear the woeful noise of his suffering when he could make them happy with the music he can never listen to. Sehun knows that there are many instances when Shixun wants to scream so that the whole world would hear him for once. Nevertheless, Sehun has never someone more grateful for the life they have than his brother.

When they were little kids, Sehun used to sit in a corner and watch his brother cry helplessly as their father tried to explain why he was not able to hear the music coming from the piano because at that time, Shixun saw no point in repeatedly pressing the keys when they did absolutely nothing. Sehun had given up on learning how to play the piano due to the lack of interest, but Shixun continued because that was the only time he could bond with their busy father. Eventually, he had a much keener audience—their kind and caring stepmother. She has always been a mother they never had and to Shixun, she was precious. She was his first fan.

The music continues to lift his spirit. He is playing a familiar tune, but Sehun could not quite put his finger on which one. It is mighty calming, though. He thinks of the time when Shixun had monstrously punched through the wall until every knuckle in his fingers was broken. Sehun had found him sobbing and bleeding in the bathroom that day, with a significant number of aspirin in him. He had not been able to play for almost a year. In fact, he never even wanted to play again after that uneventful incident. That was probably the last time Shixun has ever cried. Ever since, Sehun has been more cautious about whom Shixun gives his heart to, hoping to protect his brother seeming that Shixun could not protect himself. Shixun, too, has sworn off love after the boy he used to see left him for some girl because he could not afford to be with a boy, let alone a boy with disabilities. He had told Shixun that he might have been able to handle the fact that he is a boy, but he did not want to be with someone who will only make his life harder. It had broken Shixun, scarred him deeply. That day, he had realised his disabilities were going to cost him his happiness in the truest sense. That day, he had realised he will never be good enough.

And no matter how hard Sehun has tried to convince him otherwise, Shixun has never recovered since.

 

* * *

 

There is a reason for the chaos. There is a reason for every fate. There is a reason for sufferings. Kai believes that there is a reason that is just and sensible behind his suffering.

He saunters into his bedroom with little will. The room reeks of his bothersome classmate, Oh Sehun, an absolute menace, no doubt. With a heavy sigh, he walks over to his desk and picks up his splayed open journal. Oh Sehun has touched it, too, along with the countless other things his scent is clinging onto. He should not have exploded in front of so many people today.

After taking his coat and shoes off, he takes his seat on his bed and flips through the journal. There is no way Oh Sehun would be able to read anything that is written in this journal, so Kai is not too concerned about that. However, he _is_ worried about the reality that Oh Sehun suspects something. And he could not think of a moment when he had given the boy a reason to do so. He has been careful all this while. Every step he takes has been a cautious, strenuous one.

His stomach lurches. He often does not understand the human anatomy. He has studied a great deal about it in a short stretch of time, but still, taking the form of a human is tiring, to say the least. The physical form is not even the biggest nuisance. It is the emotional baggage that comes along with it. It is an exhaustive, all-encompassing form. On that account, his outrage this morning when he found out Oh Sehun had been in his house, in his room is rather explainable.

His hands shiver slightly when he wonders about whether or not he would have hurt the boy. The Protocol does not allow him to intentionally harm any human being, without their consent at least, and he is not permitted to cause anyone any sort of distress. He does not ever want to harm anyone, but he had not been able to control his anger earlier today.

He stares into the night through the open doors of his balcony. This planet is both beautiful and terrifying. So are its inhabitants. Both beautiful and vicious simultaneously. He rises to his feet and closes the journal before returning it to its shelf.

Tomorrow will be a better day. The humans believe that. If today is bad, tomorrow will be better. Oddly optimistic beings these humans.

He wends his way to the balcony and lets the cold air wash all over him. It tousles his hair and blows through his shirt. The corners of his lips quirk into an involuntary smile when he looks down to the orchard surrounding the house. He finds this planet unkind in many ways, but several aspects of it certainly leave him speechless. The stars seem so much brighter on nights like this from here.

He will have to get rid of the boy’s suspicion. He is going to have to live here on this planet for a little longer to get his work done. Therefore, he can’t afford to have the obstruction, which answers to the name Oh Sehun.

 

* * *

 

 ** _You don’t look good in blue_** , Shixun informs Sehun with a playfully smirk as he nudges him with his elbow to lighten the mood when they enter the school. Sehun knows Shixun has been trying to get him to smile since last night’s dinner, but to no avail. Sehun is too overwhelmed by the idea of Kai killing him and apparently, no one would believe him even if he told them.

The banners and posters for the Fall Dance are already put up all over the school. Sehun and Shixun never really go to any school dances, but Shixun has an obligation this year since he has volunteered to be the pianist, which is hilariously pathetic, actually. Sehun would have made a joke about it if he had been in a better mood.

Shixun exhales a heavy breath when they reach their lockers. He flashes a not-so-innocent smirk when Sehun discards his blue hoodie and stuffs it into the locker.

“Shut up,” Sehun mouths. **_You look horrible in white, by the way._**

Shixun consciously looks down at his white shirt and pouts. **_You could not have told me that about 10 years ago?_**

Sehun shrugs, finally smiling. Shixun immediately mirrors his grin, only twice as wider. They technically look alike, of course. Except for the hair and their choice of clothing. Shixun wears a shorter hairstyle while Sehun’s slightly longer hair is dyed blonde. Well, Sehun would say Shixun always goes around looking like a goodie-two-shoes, not that it is a bad thing, but Shixun would have some repulsive things to say about Sehun’s style, too. So, it is not exactly that big of a deal.

 ** _When are you done today_** , Sehun inquires.

 ** _Late. I have to practise after classes._** He returns his attention to his books in the locker. Once they have gathered their books, they simultaneously shut their lockers and head for their respective classes. Sehun surmises Shixun has History based on the textbooks he had just stuffed into his bag a moment ago. Sehun, on the other hand, has English Literature now. And that means he will have to see Kai in the class.

**_You don’t have any class with Kai, do you?_ **

Shixun blinks in surprise at the sudden question. **_I do. Calculus and Chemistry._**

Sehun frowns. “Really…”

**_Yes. But we have never… well, he has never spoken to me before. I don’t think he even knows I’m in those classes._ **

Well, Kai would definitely realise Shixun’s presence in those classes hereon. Thanks to Sehun and his punishable misconducts.

Chanyeol waves from his locker and Sehun waves back before he comes to an abrupt halt when his gaze lands on Kai in the hallway, walking towards him. His eyes bulge out as his heart hammers against his chest, blood pounding in his ears. Shixun pauses as well when he notices Sehun’s sudden hesitation. **_What?_**

Sehun does not respond. He wants to turn on his heel and run away. But Kai is strutting towards him in a bestial pace, with powerful struts, hands clenched at his sides. Sehun knows he would not be able to outrun Kai even if he did try to run. He is clad in a black shirt, faded blue jeans, and brown boots, with a watch on his left wrist—an odd sense of fashion for a high schooler, but it does his regal look justice. Kai’s expression on his face is however… calm. He is even sporting the friendly smile, which almost everyone in the school has gotten used to.

He stops before them and faces Shixun with the most genuine smile Sehun has ever seen on him. His tanned skin could not hide the blush on his cheeks. He sticks his hands into the back pockets of his jeans and bites on his lower lip.

“Uh, so,” he starts. He is talking to Shixun. Not Sehun. Unsurprisingly enough, Shixun looks just as shocked as Sehun. “I… heard that the Fall Dance is a big fuss in this school and you’d have to have a dance partner… or a _date_ ,” he says and lets out a breathy laugh before rubbing the back of his neck. He looks sincerely flushed and embarrassed. It is a rare sight indeed. Sehun notices how Shixun’s cheeks have gone completely red, too. He almost looks… _scared_. Scared of Kai. Scared of what he is about to say. Scratching the back of his head, Kai exhales heavily and grins like an idiot. “Do you…” he clears his throat before continuing. “Do you want to go to the dance? With me? As my… date?”

Shixun glances to Sehun, face, neck, and ears fully crimsoned. He desperately looks to Sehun as though to make sure Kai is addressing him and not his brother. Kai _is_ addressing _him_. People stop in their tracks to watch, girls are doing the whispering-giggling thing, hoping that Shixun would say yes. Chanyeol has his jaw dropped to the floor and Sehun is not sure he has picked his own jaw up yet.

Kai’s smile falters a little when Shixun does not answer. There is so much sadness in Shixun’s expression suddenly. He lifts his hands.

**_You do know that I can’t speak or hear, right?_ **

Sehun decides to snap out of it and translate it for Kai, even though he is just as terrified. “H-he says—”

“I know,” Kai says, a reply to both Sehun and Shixun. He offers a gentle smile again, eyes entirely focused on Shixun’s. The smile and the gaze both are only meant for Shixun, Sehun realises. He wants to punch Kai across his face. What a sick bastard? He is clearly trying to get back at Sehun by getting to his brother first. The oldest trick in the book.

He defensively grabs Shixun’s elbow, but he does not need to pull him away from Kai as Shixun shakes his head timidly. **_Sorry_** , he says with his hands and walks away from Kai. He is panting, Sehun notices as he tries to keep up with Shixun’s long, hasty strides. He is practically jogging through the hall as though to run away.

But before Sehun could stop him, Kai does. Fucking hell.

He catches Shixun by the forearm and forces him to a stop. “Wait,” Kai says, frowning heavily. “Can I talk to you in private? Maybe then… I could explain myself. I did not mean to… spring it on you all out of the blue,” he beseeches sincerely. He withdraws his hand from Shixun’s arm quickly when Shixun looks down at it.

“I don’t think so,” Sehun growls. “Who do you think you are?”

Kai does not entertain him. His eyes are all on Shixun. “Please,” he murmurs.

After a moment of consideration, Shixun, with pursed lips, nods his head. He only spares his brother a glance before he follows Kai outside. The bell screeches in the background, but all that Sehun could hear is his loud heartbeat.

 

* * *

 

The morning is colder than the night some days. Especially today. Kai wishes he had brought his coat along. Not for him, but for Shixun who shudders as soon as they step out of the school.

Shixun has his head hung and hands balled into fists at his sides. Kai’s own heart is pounding in his throat, making it even more impossible to say something. That is the thing, he does not have to _say_ anything. He hates being in this human form. It makes breathing hard, his head spin, and his body sweat. Especially whenever he is around _this_ boy. This one boy who has managed to render Kai feel everything that a human could feel. Happiness, excitement, misery, grief, longing, and love. All these human feelings and emotions are indescribable in practice. The worst of it all is the longing.

Kai has spent the two months he has been here just staring at the boy from afar. It is quite common for humans to ask other humans out on dates. It is common for them to fall in and out of love. Which is why Kai had not thought asking Oh Shixun to the dance would be a huge problem for him.

Apparently, it is. And a small part of Kai aches and his stomach twists.

 ** _Do you not want to go to the dance with me_** , he asks Shixun.

Shixun’s eyes shift from Kai’s hands to his face. **_You were fighting with my brother yesterday._**

 ** _That has nothing to do with me asking you to the dance, I promise_** , he puts it as gently as he could. It really has nothing to do with his row with Sehun. Kai likes Shixun and that does not have anything to do with Sehun. “The consequences may seem dubious, but my intentions are sincere, Shixun,” he says, frowning heavily.

**_I’m sorry. This just seems odd to me. The timing._ **

“I can imagine why,” Kai scoffs. **_But I promise. I am not that vile to include you in this petty argument I have with your brother. Trust me, I have nothing against Sehun either._** Kai has learned all of the human languages the first week he had come to this planet, including the sign language.

Shixun hesitates for a moment. **_Why… me? Do you even know my name?_**

Kai smiles at that and it is one of the realest smile he has smiled in this form. “Shixun. Oh Shixun. Turned 17 last spring. Plays the piano for a hobby. An avid reader of Anne Rice, Shakespeare and Ernest Hemingway. Likes the colour green. Loves to draw trifling and insignificant drawings on the margins of his notebooks when he should be focusing on the lesson. The… kindest, most selfless _human being_ I have encountered in my life.”

Shixun’s tension eases on his face as a tiny smile lurks about the corners of his lips. **_You seem like a stalker._**

Kai laughs, cupping the back of his neck. “Well, I can’t say that I am not.” After a pause, he adds, “Do _you_ … know _my_ name?”

Shixun lowers his gaze, smiling a faintly. **_I am the pianist at the dance. So… I might not be able to be around the entire time. But… can you pick me up at six?_**

Kai’s heart almost leapt out his chest. He nods, unable to help himself from grinning. “Yes. Yes, of course. Six is great.”

Shixun pulls out a pen from his bag and hesitates for a moment to touch Kai’s hand. But then Kai hands it over to him himself. Biting back on a grin, Kai watches Shixun write a series of numbers, which looks like a phone number, on his palm. Then with a shy smile, Shixun walks back into the school while Kai stands in the cold, beaming at the number on his palm.

For the first time in forever, he feels both the joy and the pain of being a human.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I can’t believe this. I can’t believe that _you_ let this happen!” Sehun aimlessly blethers on, pacing restlessly around the attic. There is a subtle pounding in his head, which just will not stop. “I can’t believe you are this naïve! He clearly wants to use you to get to me! He wants to hurt me and he is going to hurt you in the process! Oh, how I’d love to smack that smug grin off his face! You should have put him in his place! Why would you even _consider_ going to the dance with him?! And how does he know the sign language?! He is absol—” he stops himself when he realises Shixun has not been paying any attention to him. His brother, perched on the edge of his bed, is staring at his phone’s screen with a sheepish grin plastered to his lovesick puppy face. “Oi,” Sehun groans, snapping his fingers to gather his brother’s attention.

Shixun raises his head and his languishing smile disappears, replaced by a look of agitation.

“Who are you texting?” Sehun asks, cocking a curious eyebrow. Shixun only stares at him nervously. “Oh, my God. You’re… _texting_ him now?” he wrenches the phone away from Shixun’s hands and scrolls through the text messages.

**This is my number :)**

**Lol thank you**

**Are you busy?**

**Not really. Just reached home**

**And you?**

**Same here.**

**I was meaning to ask you.**

**What should I wear to the dance? A suit?**

**Anything you want ;)**

**No one would really mind**

**All right. I will see you in calculus tomorrow.**

**Ditto**

**:D**

Sehun feels his stomach knot uneasily. He looks daggers to Shixun, who purses his lips and hangs his head. Drawing in a hard breath, Sehun tosses the phone onto the bed and drops heavily on it. **_You really cannot be that guileless, Shixun_** , Sehun gestures with his hands. Shixun’s expression hardens significantly. **_He hates me and he will get to me. He knows that I was in his house and that I suspect something. He just trying to hurt me through you._**

Shixun’s eyebrows furrow into a frown. **_Or maybe he just asked me to the dance because he wanted to ask me._**

Sehun scoffs, rolling his eyes. **_You said he had never even noticed you before and now suddenly he asks you out to the dance? You don’t find that just a tad bit strange? Or are you really that naïve? Of all the people, why would he ask you? I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, you know that I’m not. But really, think about it. He could have asked the hottest girl or boy in the school. He could have accepted one of those countless proposals he had gotten. He could have chosen to go with one of those people who are always clinging onto him. People barely notice you and you believe that you are the first choice that popped into his mind?_**

Shixun clenches his hand around his shirt by the stomach and looks away. He looks as though he might cry or throw up. When the idle moment has passed, he faces Sehun again. **_I’m not that naïve. I don’t believe that I’m his… first choice. But… It’s just a dance. I will go to it with him and that is all. Nothing more._**

Sehun shoots up to his feet. “All right, then. I’m going as well. I’m not going to let you be alone with him.”

 ** _There will be a whole school of people there_** , he frowns harder.

 ** _I don’t care. You know, it’s a little weird that you instantly accepted to go to the dance with him when he threatened your own brother in front of everyone yesterday._** Yes, Sehun is a little bitter about that. Shixun is out of his mind to be fraternizing with Kai in the first place. “And now, you’re text buddies with him!”

Shixun pulls his feet up to the bed and hugs his knees to his chest. Sehun hates this. He hates the fact that Shixun never fights back or defends himself. He just lets other people step all over him, even if it is his own twin brother, and sits there like a child getting yelled at. Or a kicked puppy. Either one.

Exhaling exasperatedly, Sehun kicks a leg of the bed. **_Just… try not to get hurt again. And don’t tell me I didn’t warn you when things end bad._**

Shixun has nothing to say to that. He drops his gaze, burrowing his chin between his knees. Sehun wonders if Shixun is just as scared and addled. The last time he had opened his heart for someone, it had ended in a disaster. Well, Sehun saying all these things certainly is not going to boost his confidence level. But Shixun is right. It’s just a dance and Kai could not possibly cause too much damage by it. Not if Sehun can find out what he had written in the journal. Not if Sehun can prove that Kai is not what he appears to be.

 

* * *

 

Kai could hardly concentrate on whatever Mr. Watson is scribbling on the blackboard. His entire focus is on Shixun, who is seated several seats to the left and front. Kai does that a lot. He often stares at all the pretty things found on this planet and there is absolutely no shortage of that. He is more than intrigued by Shixun, to be completely honest. The boy is deaf-mute, yet his passion is music. He is kind, he helps everyone before they would even ask, even at the expense of his own discomfort. When Kai had first come to the school, his first class was English Literature, where he had met Sehun, Shixun’s twin brother foremost. There had never been such an attraction towards Sehun, though they are twins. It feels as though he is naturally drawn to Shixun and he can’t explain why.

Kai was immediately smitten by Shixun when he first saw him silently sitting in a corner of the Chemistry lab, sketching some abstract art on the margins of his notebook. Kai never even mustered the courage to talk to Shixun prior to yesterday. Mostly because he feared this complicated, painful, uncontrollable, and irrevocable emotions he feels whenever he even sees Shixun. He still does fear them.

Watching Shixun without the boy noticing has become a habit of Kai’s. And there really is not much that he could do stop himself from doing it. Shixun is not an ordinary human. But at the same time, he is simple, not complicated. Kai likes that about him. He is so simple, so easy to be loved.

While he is utterly conscious of his attraction toward Shixun, he is also aware of the fact that he can never _be_ with Shixun. The thought itself suffocates him and he does not know how to make it stop. Do all humans feel this way? The books and the wondrous invention of the Internet have some answers, but they are always so confusing. Something as vague as this could not be understood simply.

Kai had felt it yesterday when Shixun’s hand came in contact with his chest, with his heart. He felt the electricity that could have killed him. He felt the powerful tug of their souls. It may sound weird to a human, but as a Qwartanian, every individual has their counterpart, whom they must search for all the life. Very few actually succeed in finding them and when they do, they give each other their souls. When one of them dies, the other naturally does, too. Kai never believed in it, never believed he would find his counterpart. But here he is, wondering if he had come all the way to this planet to find the missing part of his soul. It is a child’s story, some would say. But even if it is true, even if Shixun is that missing counterpart, it would not matter. Kai can’t remain on this planet and Shixun can’t leave this planet. Kai, as a Qwartanian, would be able to give his soul to Shixun, but Shixun, as an Earthling, has no prospects in doing anything like that. It does not sound like a horrible idea, though. Kai would die when Shixun does. He never would want Shixun to die should anything happen to himself.

He wonders if Shixun thought about him last night, as he had been thinking about Shixun. He wonders if Shixun is thinking about him at this very moment, too. And his stomach clenches in excitement. The humans call it _having butterflies in the stomach._ It doesn’t make sense, but then again, a significant proportion of the human things does not make sense to him. He likes this feeling, though.

The bell finally rings, signalling the end of today’s Calculus lesson. Kai packs up his belongings at a slow pace, so that he could stall time in order to make up an excuse to talk to Shixun. And at last, Shixun turns around and faces him with a thin, hesitant smile.

Drawing in a breath, Kai walks over to him and holds the wrapped book out. Shixun blinks at it and then at Kai. **_What is this_** , he asks.

“Uh… It’s the first edition of _The Torrents of Spring_ ,” he says slowly, so that Shixun could read his lips. Well, it is also a deliberate attempt to get Shixun to stare at his lips.

Shixun’s eyes widen as he accepts the book and unwraps it. His lips fall apart and his jaw slackens. Kai, without even realising it, smiles. He never knew a single book could extract such a beautiful and strong reaction from someone.

The surprise in expression quickly turns into something sad. He hands the book back to Kai, frowning a little. **_I can’t accept that._**

“Please, I insist you do,” Kai assures him with a smile.

Shixun shakes his head. **_It is too much. We aren’t even friends._**

“Oh,” Kai drops his gaze with a tug in his chest. “I did not want to give you the book as a mean for inveigling or to butter you up,” he rubs the back of his neck. “I just thought that you might like it. There is absolutely no ill intention behind this endeavour.”

He sees how Shixun’s rosy pink lips twitch into a very shy smile. **_Thank you, but no. It is very thoughtful of you, but it is too expensive for me to receive._**

Kai laughs and Shixun stares at his lips again. “It is not my money I’m spending. Do not worry about that. It is a gift I had gotten some months ago, but I don’t read. It just sits there on my bookshelf without a proper owner to take care of it.” It is a harmless white lie, as the humans call it. For the better good. “Take it. Please.”

Shixun scruples, worrying his bottom lip, rendering it red and oh-so swollen. Kai has never had the desire to even touch someone before, but now, all that he could think about is ravaging those tender-looking lips. **_Thank you_** , he accepts the book and eyeballs it like a starved child, who has gotten his hands on a piece of candy. Is that happiness behind that smile and sparkling eyes? If so, Kai promises to always give this boy that happiness. **_Not for just the book_** , Shixun gestures after carefully putting the book away. Kai fails to understand why it is so precious. It is just an object after all.

 ** _Not just the book_** , Kai asks.

Shixun only smiles. **_Would you like to join me for lunch now?_**

Kai heaves a sigh. “I best not.” **_Your brother will be there. He is not my enemy, but… I think it is better that I do not join you._**

Shixun nods his head understandingly.

Kai grins. “I will text you later. And see you tomorrow at six.”

 ** _At six_** , Shixun repeats before he storms out of the classroom. Kai finally breathes again as he flumps on a chair, grinning to himself. His chest feels full, like he could not possibly contain the feeling.

 _This isn’t what you’re here for_ , a voice echoes in the back of his head and the feeling dies with it. He isn’t here for this…

 

* * *

 

He makes sure that his gelled hair is neat, his all-black suit is crease-free and his breath is minty one last time before he rings the doorbell. He hopes to all Hells that Sehun would not get the door. Fortunately, he doesn’t. It is Shixun’s stepmother, based on the information Kai has gathered. Her eyes widen a little when she sees Kai standing on her doorstep and Kai hopes he is not overdressed. He isn’t, at least not according to the Internet.

“You must be Kai,” she says, offering a friendly smile.

“I am, Mrs. Oh,” he hands her the bouquet of pink roses.

“For me?” she laughs. “Thank you. Come on in. I’ll go get Shixun.”

“Thanks, Mrs. Oh.”

“Please, Steph would do.”

Kai nods once, mirroring her smile. She settles the flowers on the coffee table before darting upstairs. Kai uses the opportunity to glance around the house. It is far smaller on the inside. Nevertheless, it feels like a _home_. It feels lived-in and warm. Unlike Kai’s cold, lonely house, which the Overseers had given him.

“Would you like something to drink?” Steph offers when she returns to the living room. “He will be down in a minute.”

“Oh, no, that is fine. Thank you.”

She is beaming. “You are more handsome than what Shixun had described.”

Kai could not help the blood that rushes to his cheeks. “What did he… say about me?”

“Oh, silly things. I never even imagined Shixun going to the dance with a date, let alone with a remarkably good-looking, well-mannered young man. His father would be thrilled to get to know you.”

“I would be just as thrilled,” he bows his head, smiling. His eyes shoot over to the stairs when he finds Shixun descending down them. His chest hurts in a good way, his heart beats faster and he just can’t seem to take his eyes off Shixun, who gently smiles in his way. He cleans up really well. Clad in a white shirt, a black necktie, and black pants along with black suspenders, he could easily take one’s breath away. Unlike his twin brother, Shixun wears a black, short hair which usually sticks out all over the place, but tonight, he has it neatly swept and gelled. Kai loves both this jaw-dropping look and the lazy morning look on Shixun. He generally has no complaints about Shixun whatsoever. Not even in the privacy of his own mind. He could only think of the good sides of the boy and all of his sides are good.

 ** _You look good_** , Kai lets him know as soon as he reaches the bottom of the stairs.

Shixun’s cheeks are instantly on fire, glowing red. **_So do you._**

“I hope you both have lots of fun,” says Steph, patting Shixun’s arm. “Run along now. Oh, and Shixun, don’t let your brother drive if he… somehow manages to get tipsy.”

Shixun nods his head and hurries out of the house, hauling Kai out with him.

 ** _I didn’t want to drive to the school._** **_Is it okay if we walked_** , Kai asks. It is another deliberate attempt to spend some time with Shixun. Walking takes a longer time. They would have more time together and alone. Walking also means closer proximity.

Shixun bites his smiling lip and nods. He certainly does not look like he any complaints either. When Kai first landed on this planet, he did not think humans were even remotely good-looking. They seemed odd to him, with their noses and eyes and skin. It was a blunt and plain species. But that perception has changed since. Now, he thinks no one in this entire universe could look as beautiful as Shixun. And he is not sure if he should tell Shixun that.

**_Has your brother already gone to school?_ **

Shixun nods. **_He had to pick up his date._**

**_He has a date?_ **

**_Yes. He asked a girl from his Art class._ **

“Oh.” He pauses for a moment. **_I thought he and I could become friends._** The only reason Kai had chosen Sehun to be his project partner was so that he could get closer to his brother. But that had not worked out. **_Do you know about him breaking into my house?_**

 ** _Yes, I do. I’m sorry about that,_** he frowns.

“Don’t be,” Kai quickly says, smiling. **_I don’t know why he doesn’t like me._**

**_He thinks you are hiding something._ **

**_I figured._** He drops his hands to his sides and his gaze to the pavements.

Shixun grabs his arm out of the sudden to stop him. **_You are not hiding anything, are you?_**

Kai’s breath silently hitches. If he said no, it would not be a harmless white lie. **_What if I am? Where does that put us?_**

Shixun’s expression immediately turns grey and sad. **_I have already been hurt once. It completely broke me._** He pauses. Kai’s chest tightens painfully when he notices the tears that begin to well up in Shixun’s beautiful eyes, which often drive Kai over the edge of sanity. **_I can’t stop thinking about you for the past two days. Am I reading all of this wrong? I’m not even sure if this is supposed to mean anything, but if it doesn’t, please tell me now._**

Kai catches Shixun’s hand in his and grips it firmly. “It does,” he whispers, stepping into Shixun’s personal space. “I like you, Shixun. I have since the first time I saw you, sketching in your own world like everything surrounding you no longer mattered. And the time I saw you play the piano at the assembly, again lost in your own world. And then, when I caught you frowning at a pigeon with a broken leg, limping around, looking at it like how you might be able to help it. You tossed it a cucumber from your sandwich from afar.” He could not help but exhale a soft laughter at the fond memory. “I _do_ like you.”

Shixun is staring at him as if he is out of breath. He is almost smiling, but not quite. All of his focus is on Kai’s lips and his fingers reflexively curl around Kai’s. He does not reply and tugs at Kai’s hand, walking toward the school.

Kai’s blood pounds in his ears as he loosely holds Shixun’s hand. He notices how a couple of pedestrians stare at him and his hand around Shixun’s, but he does not quite understand why they are sneering at him. He does not care, anyway. Shixun’s hand is soft and slender, if not bony. Their fingers fit perfectly when they intertwine them. Kai’s hand feels a little cold against Shixun’s warm palm and he wonders if Shixun could hear his heartbeat. He really hopes not.

 

* * *

 

Contrary to what he had told Shixun and their parents, Sehun does not have a date. He just needed the car so that he could make a short trip to all the locations where the killings took place. He is not an expert, but he knows there is no obvious pattern. The first to die was a middle-aged man, followed by a teenage girl, a mother of two, and the old owner of the Tryvell Bookstore. All of their necks were snapped.

Sehun makes one last stop at the bookstore and Yixing, nephew of the previous owner of the bookstore, greets him with an insincere smile. “Hi, Sehun,” he says. “I’m about to close up.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he mutters, walking over to the counter. It is not your average bookstore. Most of the items sold here are outdated and ancient. “And I’m also sorry about your uncle.”

Yixing sighs. “Thanks. Can I help you with anything?”

Sehun surveys the tattered covers of old books on the shelf behind Yixing. “Still no idea of what killed your uncle?”

Yixing’s eyes narrow. “ _What_ killed my uncle?”

Sehun freezes. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound insensitive. I mean… _who_ killed your uncle.”

“It’s a small town, Sehun. News spreads like wildfire. What I know you know.”

“Fair point,” he lets out.

“Are you… going to a party or something?” Yixing inquires, noticing the grand mess Sehun is attired in.

“Oh, a silly school dance. I don’t even want to go.”

“Then why are you going?”

“For Shixun’s sake.”

Yixing smiles at the name. “How is he, anyway? He doesn’t come by often anymore.”

“That’s not your fault, don’t worry,” Sehun smirks. “He is a little busy with school. Besides, don’t you think it would make more sense to read books online than to _buy_ them and hoard them?”

Yixing snickers. “You won’t be Oh Sehun if you didn’t think that.”

Sehun shrugs. “What are those?” he points to the books behind Yixing.

“Oh, they came in last week. Bunch of old books. First editions. Edgar Rice Burroughs, Ian Fleming, Ernest Hemingway, Mark Twain, etcetera.”

“I don’t know who any of those people are,” he scoffs. He stops himself at that thought when the name rings a bell. “Ernest Hemingway. Is that… the guy who wrote the… something of spring?”

“ _The Torrents of Spring_ , yeah. I’m surprised you know that work.”

Sehun did not know it two days back. But recently he had seen Shixun walking, eating, sleeping with that book. “You said Shixun hasn’t come by in a while. Didn’t he buy the book here?”

“What? No, he didn’t. Actually, the new guy, Kai did. God, he’s filthy rich,” he shakes his head. “He comes here at least once in three days and usually doesn’t buy much except for those ink bottles and quill pens.”

Sehun recalls finding empty ink bottles back in his house. “So, he knew your uncle.”

“Yeah, I guess,” he shrugs. “Why?”

“No. Nothing,” Sehun flashes a strained smile. “Well, uh, have a good evening. I have to get to the dance now.”

“Okay… Have fun.”

 

* * *

 

“You came stag, man?!” Chanyeol exclaims when Sehun bumps into him on his way to the school’s gymnasium.

Sehun could hear the cacophony of voices along with the piano music in the hallway. Okay, so Shixun is still alive. “Where’s your date?”

Chanyeol goes mum for a moment, scratching his head. “She’s dancing with some senior.”

Sehun snorts and laughs, shoving his friend playfully by the arm. “That’s even more pathetic.”

“Yeah, no shit. But can we talk about Shixun for a second? He’s here with—”

“I know.”

“He accepted—”

“I know.”

“They even… danced. Kim got him punch and pretzels. What, are they dating now?”

Sehun pins him with a scowl. “Are you crazy?”

“I don’t know, it seems like it. Why are you so tensed?”

Sehun lets out a laborious breath. “I don’t like him and I don’t trust him.”

“Shixun seems like he does,” he sniggers.

“Shixun is a fool.”

“Whoa,” Chanyeol grabs Sehun’s arm. “Dude, chill. It isn’t a big deal.”

“Yes, it is and you won’t understand.” He walks into the gymnasium and scans the crowd until he spots Kai on the bleachers, his earnest eyes fixated on Shixun, who is perched on the piano bench as he plays. “I need to talk to you,” Sehun spits through his teeth, strutting up to Kai.

Kai brings his head up and wordlessly stares at Sehun for a moment. “What?”

“I said I need to talk to you.” With that, he turns on his heel and storms out of the gymnasium. He grabs a table knife on his way out and plunges it into his pants’ pocket. He does not plan to attack Kai with it, but he needs something to defend himself, doesn’t he?

He only turns around to face Kai when they have reached the back of the school, near the football pitch. “What are you doing? What is your angle?”

Kai arches an eyebrow, crossing his arms over his chest. “You are questioning _me_? Did the fact that you had wronged me by breaking into my house simply slipped your tiny mind?”

Sehun grips his fists. “First of all, I did not break in. You don’t even lock your doors or windows, which I assume is an act of overconfidence. Secondly, you have no right to ask me anything considering how you’ve been lying to everyone’s faces, especially Shixun’s all this while!”

“You are barking mad, has anyone told you that? What exactly am I lying about, huh?”

“There is absolutely no record of you anywhere. Not in the school’s file, which only has an account for your basic details. Other than that, nothing. Nothing online, nothing in your house. Not even photographs. And this,” he points the phone in Kai’s face. “What the hell is this? These characters do not exist. That isn’t all. You have been at all the locations of the murders, which only began to occur after you had come into this town! Are you telling me—” he is cut off when Kai wrests the phone out of his hand and smashes it against the wall. Sehun’s jaw drops as Kai hurls the ruined phone across the field.

“The only reason I did not lodge a complaint on you is for the sake of your brother. Despite what you think of me, I do genuinely care for Shixun and let me tell you this. Cross my path again and Sehun,” he takes a step closer, eyes threateningly alarming. “You will be testing my patience.”

“And what?” Sehun challenges him. He grabs the lapels of Kai’s coat and yanks them until he has Kai pinned against the wall. “You won’t feel so threatened if you truly had nothing to hide. But you do, don’t you?” he keeps a firm fist gripping Kai’s shirt as the reaches for the table knife in his pocket.

“And if I do?” Kai spits. He catches Sehun’s wrist and twists it until Sehun involuntarily releases the knife with a grunt. Kai refuses to loosen his grip on Sehun’s wrist as he leans in, baring his teeth. His expression shifts into something softer, but dangerous all the same. “You’re right,” he whispers. “I’m not what I appear to be. But what are you going to do about it, you pathetic, puny Earthling?”

Sehun freezes, eyes wide and breathing hard. Kai suddenly releases Sehun’s wrist and sharply turns his head. Sehun follows his worried gaze and they both stand paralysed against one another when they see Shixun lifelessly staring at them. His face is clear of any expression at all. His eyes bounce from Sehun to Kai, then letting out a miserable sigh, he turns around and walks away.

“No,” Kai breathes out and slips away from Sehun to run after Shixun. “Wait, Shixun. Come back,” he says desperately, even though Shixun would not be able to hear him. Shixun does not stop even when Kai gently grabs his hand. He kindly pulls his hand free from Kai’s grip and drags himself away from him. Before Kai could pursue after him, the deafening cry halts him.

Sehun braces himself against the wall, gawking at the girl who runs towards them, screaming her mind off. She screams for help as she runs as fast as her feet could carry her.

“What happened?!” Sehun hears Kai’s growl before he glances over to Kai. Completely horrified and frightened out of his wits, Sehun is stuck in his shoes as he watches Kai bolt towards the girl.

“Th-there’s something… s-something there,” she stutters breathlessly with terror in her watery eyes. “It was hu-huge, b-black as the night, eyes as r-r-red as blood, twice the size of a human.”

Kai grabs her by her shoulders and shakes her. “Where did you see it?” he asks in a firm voice.

The girl points to the woods on the edge of the football pitch. “Th-there.”

“Get inside and try not to tell anyone about this,” he raises a finger to her forehead. Sehun rapidly blinks his eyes when he sees the faint blue light that illuminates around Kai’s finger when he touches the girl’s forehead. _What the hell?_

The girl vacantly stares at Kai as her breathing instantly calms. She looks confused and dazed. He then ushers her toward the door and turns to Sehun. “What… did you just do to her?” Sehun demands in a shaky whisper.

Kai does not answer as he bolts for the woods. Sehun debates with himself for a moment, whether to go after him or not. In the end, he sucks in a sharp breath and runs after Kai. “What did she mean she saw something?!” he yells at Kai, who effortlessly leaps over the fence. Sehun groans to himself and struggles to climb over.

Kai spins around and shoves Sehun on the chest. “I do not have the time for you, so go back!”

“I’m not scared of you,” Sehun spits back.

“You should be.” He punches his fist down and his wrist lights up blue. His entire forearm then illuminates, neon blue patterns that resemble intricate tattoos. A ring of silver forms in his dark eyes.

“Whoa,” Sehun lets out, stumbling back a step. “Wh-what is that?”

Kai advances forward. “Go. Back.”

“No!” Sehun could not take his eyes off Kai’s forearm.

“Urgh!” Kai grumbles and twirls around, bursting into a sprint. He is too fast for Sehun to keep up and Sehun almost runs into several trees.

“What is that on your arm?!”

Kai finally comes to a halt and he grabs Sehun by the neck. “I was not jesting when I said you test my patience,” he snarls. His grip is strong and Sehun starts to choke. That is when the illuminated patterns on his forearm turn purple and Kai releases his neck with a gasp. “Shit,” he curses under his breath and the silver rings in his eyes fade along with the light on his arm. “I lost him,” he turns his back to Sehun and rubs the nape of his neck.

“Lost… who?”

There is no reply. Kai ferociously slams his fist into a tree and groans like a predatory animal. “You should not want to be a part of this, Oh Sehun. Forget all of this.” He comes forth with his hand raised.

“No,” Sehun steps away. “No. Don’t. How the fuck are you even doing that?! Did you kill those people?!”

“No! I’m trying to stop the thing that _has_ killed those people!”

Okay, this is new. Sehun swallows and surveys Kai’s infuriated expression. “What… are you talking about?”

“You don’t need to know.”

“I _want_ to know. Otherwise, I’ll keep trying and trying to find out!”

Kai rubs his temples, shaking his head. “Why are you so stubborn?”

Sehun shrugs. “Born that way. Look, I won’t freak out. Just… tell me the truth.”

Kai silently stares at him. He then purses his lips and shoves past Sehun, heading back to the school. Sehun catches his elbow, but Kai rips it free from his grip. “Stay out of my way.”

“And what about Shixun?” Sehun scowls. “Isn’t he supposed to be out of your way, too? What… _are_ you?”

Kai freezes in his tracks for a second. Then rolling his hands into fists, he walks away.

 

* * *

 

Only when he pulls the car in the driveway and finds Shixun flumped on the steps of veranda does Sehun realise he has completely forgotten about his brother. Had Shixun walked all the way back home in this cold, unforgiving night? Sehun is too exhausted to find out. His mind is clogged. What should he do? Who would believe him? Kai is… after something? What is he, then? Some sort of a… detective? It does not make sense. He is a teenager. His head spins in a muddle of confusion. How is he supposed to interpret this? But at least, he wants to believe Kai is not the one behind those killings. Someone else is, though.

Shixun raises his head when Sehun approaches him, but he does not meet Sehun’s eyes. He does not look angry as much as he looks disappointed, as though he is rejected. Again.

 ** _How long do you plan on staying out here in the cold_** , Sehun asks him.

Shixun drops his head against the pillar. Then letting out a heavy breath, he rises to his feet and rings the doorbell. Sehun cups a hand over Shixun’s shoulder to get his attention.

**_Nothing happened, Shixun._ **

**_Were you fighting or…_** he drops his hands to his sides, as if he could not bring himself to ask it. Their father answers the door and Shixun does not wait for inquiries about how amazing the night has been as he races upstairs.

“Is everything okay?” the old man asks Sehun.

“Yeah, Dad. He is just… We’re tired.”

“Oh. Steph can heat up some food if you want.”

“No, Dad. I think I’ll just… call it a night.” He smiles briefly and proceeds up to his room.

 

* * *

 

Kai should contact the Overseers, but he is far too beat to even lift a limb. He decides to do it tomorrow when he could think straighter. He collapses on huge, spacious bed, which often feels terribly lonely and cold, after taking a shower and changing into his night clothes. He sits up in a moment of restlessness and pulls his t-shirt off before lying back down. He knows the Cripottar would have harmed that girl tonight. It would have killed her. It is getting closer to the school, which is good. Kai would be able to capture it if it gets close enough.

He could not will himself to sleep no matter how hard he tries. He thinks of the horridly depressing look Shixun had worn when he found Kai and Sehun together. He does not know if Shixun might have misunderstood the situation. He does not understand the complexity of humans. He does not think he matters much to Shixun. Why would he? They barely know each other. Or at least, Shixun barely knows Kai.

His phone buzzes on the bedside table unexpectedly. Sitting up at once, he picks it up, wondering who could possibly be calling him at this hour? His heart jumps to his throat when he discerns the caller ID. He answers the call without thinking twice, but goes completely silent the next second.

He listens. He listens carefully. He could hear Shixun’s ragged breathing, otherwise, there is nothing. “Shixun,” Kai mutters into the phone, knowing for a fact that Shixun won’t be able to hear him. “Shixun,” he says again, nevertheless. He wants Shixun to hear him. He wants to tell Shixun how sorry he is.

And then he hears the silent sobs and sniffling. “Shixun,” he desperately calls again, feeling completely helpless. He wants to go over to Shixun’s house right this instant, but he knows the human parents would not find it appropriate. He would not want to get Shixun into trouble.

He rises to his feet and heads for the balcony with a painful heaviness in his chest. Why did Shixun even call him when he could not hear him? Kai grips the railings of the balcony and swallows the lump in his throat. He listens to it as a punishment. As a punishment for something he did not do. But he _did_ , didn’t he? He had unintentionally hurt Shixun without even knowing that he could. Kai had wanted to hurt Sehun and had only held back for Shixun. He did not expect Shixun to find them like that. How can he stop this? Why did it hurt so much to hear this boy he had only known for the past two months cry?

It stops after a while. Kai clenches his eyes when he realises Shixun has ended the call.

 

* * *

 

When the door opens, Steph looks at him like she has seen a ghost. Again.

“Good morning,” Kai greets her nervously.

“Well, good morning to you, Kai. Come in,” she lets him in. “Are you all right? I wasn’t expecting to show up on a Saturday morning.”

“I’m sorry if I caused any,” he pauses momentarily when he hears he piano being played from upstairs. “Inconvenience.”

“Oh, dear. Not at all. You should join us for breakfast. I’m making waffles.”

“I would be delighted to, Mrs. Oh.”

“He’s upstairs,” she says, noticing the restiveness in Kai’s eyes. “Go all the way up the stairs to the second floor. You’ll find a staircase leading to the attic.”

“Thank you.” he hurries up the stairs without wasting another minute. He has not even contacted the Overseers yet. He just has to see Shixun before he could function normally again.

When he enters the attic, he isn’t expecting to find a well-furnished and neat bedroom. There is a small bookshelf against a wall, a bed, a desk, and a small piano. Shixun is seated on the piano bench as he relentlessly plays, without even noticing Kai’s presence in his room.

Kai shuts the door before he walks over to the bench. Shixun’s fingers freeze over the keyboard when Kai takes his seat on the bench beside him. He does not look surprised. He is not even looking at Kai. Instead, he resumes to play the piano. Kai sheds his coat and brings his fingers to the keyboard. Shixun does not stop when Kai begins to play. It is a beautiful tune. A tune that speaks Kai’s heart. Shixun can’t hear it.

Then out of the sudden, Shixun stops and faces Kai. Time slows between them. Shixun is silent. He has always been silent, but this silence is different. This silence is unbearable.

 ** _Did I hurt you_** , Kai asks, frowning heavily.

Shixun shakes his head immediately. He lowers his eyes. **_A couple of years back… I… liked a friend of mine. He was a senior. It was childish of me, but I truly… cared for him._** He briefly looks up at Kai before dropping his gaze again. **_He hurt me. He said I would not do him any good. He wanted to focus on his happiness, on his life. So, he started dating my best friend. Right in front of my eyes. He did everything he could to push me away. He said every repulsive thing there is to say about me to ensure that I don’t follow him around like an idiot. I was an idiot. I kept going behind him. I was young. But what I felt for him was real. He was kind and gentle. But… he was neither kind nor gentle to me in the end. He hurt me with his words, with his hands. He said I was deaf and dumb. He called me a fag. He pushed me away whenever I went close to him. And my best friend… she stopped talking to me, too. I broke every knuckle in my hands that day. I never wanted to play again. But I picked myself up. I realised that I’ll have to keep living. I never wanted to blame all my miseries on my disability. But it taught me something. It taught me that this… disability will always hold me back. I will never be perfect or good enough for anyone. Never._**

Kai shakes his head, opening his mouth to say something, but Shixun stops him with tears trickling down his pink cheeks.

**_I don’t know why I like you so much. It does not make sense to like someone this much in half a week. But then, I feel like I have liked for longer than that. I just never entertained the feelings. I don’t know how to stop feeling like this. But I don’t trust you. I want to, but I can’t. Why me when you could have literally anybody? Why me when… you could have Sehun?_ **

Kai grabs Shixun’s wrists, scowling hard. “Is that what you think happened? Do you really believe that Sehun and I were doing something behind your back last night? We had an argument. Nothing more. I would never hurt you, Shixun. Neither would Sehun. And I feel even stronger for you. I can’t tell you how painful it is for me to be around you, but at the same time, it hurts even more when I’m not around you. I must stay away from you, but I also don’t want to. I don’t know why either, Shixun. But I _do_ know this. I will never ever intentionally hurt you like your friend had. I…” he lets go of Shixun’s hands. **_I care for you. I want to be with you. I promise to never hurt you. I feel like I’m lost when I don’t see you for even a day._**

Shixun miserably smiles, cheeks wet with tears. **_I feel the same._**

Kai brings a hesitant hand to Shixun’s cheek and his heart feels like it might explode when Shixun gently leans into the touch. Kai’s eyes travel to Shixun’s quivering rosy lips. Kai’s breath quickens when Shixun closes his eyes as Kai leans in. This is how humans express their love for one another. But Kai is not thinking about practicalities right now. His body and his heart want this.

Shixun shivers delicately when Kai’s lips touch his. Kai barely brushes his lips against Shixun’s and he almost goes half-insane. Shixun’s lips are so tender, so soft that Kai worries he might injure them just by kissing them. Kai’s heart feels crushed when Shixun’s trembling breath grazes Kai’s bottom lip. He pulls back to make certain he isn’t hurting Shixun.

Shixun fists Kai’s shirt by the chest in a bunch and pulls him close. Kai gets rid of the remaining distance between them, a hand on Shixun’s slender hip, another cupping the back of Shixun’s neck, fingers softly brushing Shixun’s hair on the nape, and lips gently savouring every bit of Shixun’s tender, burning lips. Kai catches Shixun’s upper lip between his lips and kisses it softly before dragging his lips to taste Shixun’s swollen bottom lip. Kai knows he is so damned. He feels drunk and intoxicated by the kiss. He wants to taste more of Shixun’s milky-white skin, _this human body_ wants to explore more of Shixun’s virgin body. All that Kai wants is for Shixun to come apart, to be completely undone and at the same, to bloom fully in his hands.

Kai gives Shixun’s lower lip one last suck and gently tugs it before releasing it, breaking the kiss. Shixun lets out a shaky breath, bracing his forehead against Kai’s.

 

 

“What is this?” Kai inquires when Shixun hands him a container.

 ** _Open it_** , Shixun orders him lovingly with a bashful smile on his beautiful face. His cheeks, the tip of his nose and lips are red due to the cold, but he refuses to go back into the school even though it is bitterly cold outside. He is perched on top of the front steps railing. They have more privacy here, so Kai does not argue with him. He takes his coat off and drapes it over Shixun to keep him warm and the latter smiles at him endearingly.

“It smells amazing,” Kai breathes out when he pulls the container’s lid off. **_What is this?_**

 ** _Manicotti. My mom made it_** , he holds out a fork. **_You said you haven’t eaten any homecooked food ever since you came to Tryvell._**

Kai smirks up at Shixun. “And so, you decided to share your food with me?”

**_I have brought enough for three. I don’t know about how big your appetite is._ **

Kai grins to himself and digs the fork into the pasta. He feeds it to Shixun first and Shixun looks at him with surprise. He shakes his head and diverts the fork in Kai’s direction. Kai does not fight him and takes the food into his mouth. He does not know what it is made of, but for a second there, it feels as though he is in heaven. It melts in his mouth and slides down his throat like butter. He involuntarily lets out a moan with his eyes closed. When he opens them, Shixun is inaudibly chuckling at him.

**_Is it good?_ **

“So good,” Kai takes another bite of the food. **_Your stepmother made it, you said?_**

Shixun nods his head. **_I will bring food for us both whenever my mother makes something._**

“Here,” he forces Shixun to eat some before he helps himself to it. It is not anything like he has tasted before. Kai does not care much for human food, but his body does. **_It is getting colder. Shall we go inside?_**

Shixun shakes his head. He latches his hands to Kai’s shoulders when Kai positions himself between his legs. He drags his slender fingers down Kai’s shoulders and chest, grinning sheepishly. **_Are you cold?_**

“No, I’m worried you are,” Kai says, clasping his hands to Shixun’s waist while keeping his eyes on Shixun’s. He freezes when Shixun locks his legs around his waist, hands fisting his shirt collar. He takes Shixun’s face in his hands, holding it gently to ensure he does not hurt him and pulls it close to kiss him on the lips. Shixun buries his fingers in Kai’s hair and surrenders to Kai’s lips while Kai takes his time to savour the softness and heat of Shixun’s lips. It makes his heart thunder, his body shiver with pleasure. What an odd, but pleasurable feeling…

Shixun whimpers silently against Kai’s lips when Kai breaks the kiss. He smiles, eyes full of love and longing. Kai licks his lips, horribly aware of the heat of Shixun’s crotch against his abdomen. Kai supposes it is not a huge deal. Shixun is his… boyfriend, after all. Boyfriend.

“Are we… boyfriends?” he asks as Shixun rubs tiny circles on Kai’s cheek, carding his fingers through Kai’s hair. But he goes still upon hearing that question.

Shixun blinks, cheeks crimsoning deeper. Whenever he blushes, Kai feels like another bit of his heart is crushed. It is such a beautiful pain. **_I want you to be my boyfriend_** , he says using his hands and quickly drops his head, biting on his lower lip.

Kai smashes their lips together and kisses him firmly as if to declare his agreement. Shixun’s legs around him tighten and Kai loses every bit of his breath into the kiss. He kisses the tip of Shixun’s red nose and pecks on his upper lip before pulling away. “Will you follow me anywhere I go, Shixun?”

Shixun cups Kai’s jaw and presses his thumb to Kai’s lips, eyes studying those parted lips. He smiles and retrieves his hands from Kai. **_Yes. Of course._** He pauses for a moment. **_I would love to hear you say my name._**

 ** _Ditto_** , Kai frowns, planting another kiss on Shixun’s lips. “But I have no regret, no complaints, Shixun.”

Shixun lets out a shaky breath when Kai presses a kiss to his forehead.


	4. Life Is Good

Kai does not know which is sadder; the fact that he is in love with his idiot best friend or the fact that his best friend is an idiot, who believes that they are both straight. Oh, Kai is straight all right. However, when it comes to his best friend’s perfectly round perky ass, Kai is as straight as a doughnut. The one thing he is absolutely certain of is that his best friend is an idiot and this idiot has managed to steal his heart. And a bunch of his clothes. And his pizza last week.

He glares at Sehun, who walks into the lecture hall, gripping his textbooks to his chest, clad in a pink sweater that reads ‘LIFE IS GOOD’. He shoves his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he looks around the crowded hall, waves at someone and then smiles at a girl he thinks he likes since freshman year. Kai glares harder. Okay, he does not mean to sound vain, but who the hell, straight or not, would not want to bang someone like himself, right? Kai would definitely do himself. Sehun is either completely blind or his taste in lovers is as bad as his choice of fashion and his ability to cook anything decent. Oh motherfucking Sehun insists on being straight. Kai does not have a problem with that per se. But his little friend in his pants has a _huge_ problem with it.

Over the years, Kai has tried time and again to impress his best friend. Oh, Sehun _is_ impressed with Kai, all right, but in all the wrong ways. For instance, in high school, Kai had joined the school’s theatre club, which Sehun was already a part of. Kai had no interest in any of the theatre bullshit, he was only there to impress Sehun with his dancing. Sehun _was_ impressed. He used to give Kai a pat on the back every time for it, _not_ give quick, passionate head in the storage room according to one of Kai’s many unrealized fantasies. Now in college, nothing much has changed. Kai tries even harder now. And he can vouch that working out shirtless in the room with Sehun around has not turned Sehun gay for him. Oh Sehun is one tough nut to crack. And that’s the only nut Kai wants to crack.

“Are you listening?” he hears Yixing say and tears his scowl away from Sehun to fix it on his friend. “I was saying we should go on the skiing trip this—”

“Get up,” Kai spits.

Yixing raises his eyebrows in confusion. “What?”

“Get up. Go,” he shoves Yixing by the arm, eyes bouncing to Sehun, who is still looking for a place to sit. “Get the fuck off, man!” he hisses, pushing Yixing off his seat and grins, waving up high in Sehun’s way. “Sehun!”

“Wow,” Yixing lets out, faking a pout.

“Go sit someplace else,” Kai growls at Yixing, who slams his book against the side of Kai’s head before climbing over the row of seats. Sehun eventually wends his way to Kai and flashes a fulfilling smile as he takes his seat beside Kai.

“Hey, you,” he chimes, fishing a bar of Snickers from his bag. Kai knows it is the Snickers bar he had stored in their room’s refrigerator yesterday. Of course, Oh Sehun does not care if it is Kai’s. What he sees and deems eatable, he eats. Sometimes, Kai wonders what Sehun does to burn all that fat he consumes. He most certainly does not work out. Somehow, his mind wanders to a much untoward picture of Sehun burning all those calories in bed, under him, completely naked, sweating… and screaming. Preferably Kai’s name. He feels a twitch in his pants and decides to shake the lewd, wonderful thoughts away. Hey, he is not a vulgar person. Yes, he will admit he gets horny for Sehun and the smell of the disgusting baby powder Sehun likes to wear on his neck, which makes him smell like a baby (literally, he smells like milk and something flowery at all times, with a hint of Kai’s own scent whenever he is wearing Kai’s sweaters and t-shirts), but it isn’t as though Kai is horny 24/7. Only when Sehun is around. God, Sehun would disown him if he ever comes to know of Kai’s dirty fantasies and wet dreams about him.

  “Here,” Sehun hands him the remaining half of the chocolate. “It’s yours.” He starts to rummage through his messenger bag as Kai accepts the chocolate.

“Well, it’s half of what was mine,” he mutters to himself, taking a bite of it. Sehun grabs himself a milk box and pokes a straw into it.

“It’s the last lecture,” he says, voice laced with excitement before takes a long sip of the milk. “When are you leaving?”

Kai shrugs, plunging the crumpled wrapper of the chocolate between Sehun’s thighs. Sehun clicks his tongue in disapproval and removes the wrapper from the seat. “Late,” Kai says, licking his lips as seductively as he could without being too obvious.

But, for crying out loud, Oh Sehun must be the only person who is oblivious to such nuances. “That’s not very specific, Kai,” he frowns.

“Maybe I won’t go home until… Wednesday.”

Sehun sips the milk and Kai intently watches how his tongue and lips swipe over the red straw. “Wednesday?!” he rasps. “Why?”

“You know how crazy my mom is during the holidays,” he sighs. “When are you leaving?”

There is a subtle change in Sehun’s expression. “Well, I was planning to leave tomorrow. I haven’t even packed. But…”

“But what?”

“I don’t wanna leave you alone,” he murmurs, adjusting his glasses.

“Aw,” Kai scoffs. “I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself. Besides, I’d like some peace and quiet for a while.”

“I’m quiet.”

“You listen to Kanye and Nicki Minaj, Sehun. There is absolutely nothing quiet about you.”

“Um, if you’re not going home, then maybe you could come home with me? And stay until Wednesday? Mom would love to have you over.”

Kai gulps. If there is one person he fears more than his own mom is Sehun’s mom. It is not exactly _fear_ , but it is definitely something close to that. “Uh…”

“Come on! Please?” he begs with his puppy eyes and generous grin, which Kai is utterly weak for. He heaves a sigh.

“I guess.”

“Yay!” he swigs the milk until the box is punched. Kai often wonders if his first kiss—if it is to happen at all—would be with Sehun milky-mouthed. Well, the only milk Kai is willing to taste at the moment is Sehun’s. And fucking Sehun is too busy drinking his stupid milk from the stupid box.

Yes, Oh Sehun frustrates him a lot. Sometimes to the extent which Kai wants to strangle him and profess his love for him. Nonetheless, Kai would not exchange his best friend for a billion dollars. Okay, maybe he is exaggerating. A billion dollars is a huge deal. He would not give up his best friend even for a thousand dollars.

“I’ve got a gift for you,” Sehun whispers as the lecturer proceeds with the last lecture of the semester.

Kai arches an eyebrow. “Oh.”

Sehun has a horrible track record in buying gifts for Kai. Last year, he had gotten Kai a farting teddy bear, which is supposed to be joke to him. Oh, did he mention? Sehun’s sense of humour also sucks. The year before, it was a pack of bacon. Kai appreciates the thought, of course. But as an honest man, he admits that Sehun is shit when it comes to buying gifts.

One would ask, why fall for someone as childish and naïve as Sehun. Kai could list a hundred bad things about Sehun. But he could cross them all out and replace them with a thousand good things about Sehun. But it would not matter. Because in the end, Kai only needs one reason: —

            He loves Sehun.

“Hey,” Kai whispers, nudging his elbow into Sehun’s arm.

“What?”

“Why doesn’t Santa have any kids?” he asks, smirking playfully.

Sehun looks confused for a second. “He married late?”

Kai scowls at him. “He married late?”

“Yeah. He’s pretty ancient. Also, you wouldn’t know that he does not have children for sure. He does not go around giving interviews about his family and private life, you know.”

Kai’s scowl deepens. “You just ruined the joke,” he rolls his eyes and looks away.

“Oh… What was the joke?”

“He does not have any kids because he only _comes_ once a year.” He winks.

Sehun blinks vacantly. “But that doesn’t make sense. If anything, it should leave him more time to spend with his wife.”

“Fuck you, just focus on the lecture,” Kai snaps in frustration and flips his laptop open.

Sehun latches onto the sleeve of Kai’s sweater. “No, no. Let me ask you one.”

Kai groans. “Okay.”

Sehun’s eyes narrow in concentration. “Give me a moment.”

“Take all the time you need.”

Sehun worries his lower lip and thinks hard with his eyebrows furrowed together. Then after a moment, he hesitantly whispers, “Kai. Knock-knock.”

Kai clenches his jaw. “Who’s there?”

“Mary.”

He clenches harder. “Mary who?”

“Merry Christmas!” he exclaims in a whisper and giggles at his own joke. Kai glowers at him for a moment, but his scowl eases into a smile when he sees how genuinely funny Sehun thinks he is. Seeing Sehun laugh and smile is one of the best things Kai loves to do. Besides watching Sehun towel himself after a shower, that is.

You see, this is what is at stake. Kai could choose to confess his love, which he has harboured for Sehun for years now and ruin everything that they have together. Or he could keep quiet for the rest of his life and watch Sehun be happy from afar.


	5. Life of Every Party

It’s difficult _not_ to notice that one guy who is always the life of every party. It’s even more difficult to notice the guy that is invisible at these things. It’s worse when the invisible guy has a crush on the life of every party.

Sehun silently watches everyone around him, like he does at all the parties he is invited to, which is almost never. He gets it. Parties are like the right of passage in every teenager’s life. He just doesn’t get the appeal of making small talks, getting sloshed, smoking illegal shit, and making out with people he doesn’t even know. But that’s a party, all right. And he hates every one of them.

He could burn Baekhyun for dragging to him to these parties, only to ditch him so that he can hook up with others. He puts Sehun in a tough spot, where he can neither stay nor leave. He is already socially awkward as he is. Leaving a party before everyone’s even drunk as skunk would be considered as blasphemy in the social circle. So, he stays put and watches all these wannabes make a fool out of themselves.

Gawking a little at the couples making out in the corners, he feels his heart leap as always. Of course, he wants to kiss people and laugh and just be a fucking teenager, but who would kiss him, who would he laugh with, and who would fucking care?

After a moment, he is just entertaining his own thoughts. He has a fuckload of homework to do, but so do these people. They don’t seem to be cudgelling their brain over that like he is. It’s hard not to despise these carefree partygoers. They are having such a good time (at least that’s what it looks like), while Sehun is here, eating his heart out over the fact that he might not graduate this year. It would have been easier if he were good at _something_. But no. God just had to make him a complete loser in all aspects. Okay, maybe not all. But almost all. He is talentless, lacks all athletic skills, very average looking (not that it matters anyway, it’s the confidence that counts, not the looks), definitely below average when it comes to studies, and has heaps of anxiety for a best friend.

Charming, right? And just like every loser in this world, he has a silly crush on someone that doesn’t know he even exists. The school’s celebutante, the head honcho of all social cliques, the dashing heartthrob, the leading light in all the classes, the god of extroverts. Kim Kai from the senior year, known for his hail-fellow-well-met smile, impeccable fashion, stellar confidence, and over-venturesome attitude. He is the closest someone could get to perfection.

Ironic, right? But it’s okay. Sehun isn’t salty and neither does he pine for Kai like the attention-grabbing girls that are throwing themselves all over the dark-haired, well-proportioned, deliciously handsome boy. Sigh, sigh, sigh. Sehun wasn’t even sure that he was gay until he saw Kai exchanging jibes with his friends in the hallway, walking past him like he was a fucking prince. Well, that huge David Beckham’s Calvin Klein poster in his bedroom could have been a hint.

Kai is a decent drinker, Sehun has noticed. And is invited to every party there is. It’s understandable. Sehun would want someone like Kai to attend his party, too, if he ever throws one. Probably during his funeral.

Even now, Kai has been draining a single bottle of beer for over an hour while going around, talking to everyone he knows. Sehun is not everyone he knows. End of story.

Kai’s father is a paediatrician, his mother is an attorney. He has a younger sister, who is still in middle school. He knows how to play the guitar and the piano. He is also the captain of the school’s football team, volunteers part-time at a dancing academy and wants to join pre-med. He is in a long-term relationship with his girlfriend, Shana the Skank. You get the idea that he isn’t really fond of Kai’s girlfriend, but no one really is, he supposes. Kai also loves the Beetles and his current obsession is _How to Get Away with Murder_. Thank you, Facebook.

Sehun isn’t a stalker, mind you. But he is close to becoming one.

He continues to observe Kai, taking slow sips of the cranberry juice. Or is it raspberry? Strawberry, perhaps. The juice is red and the taste is sour. Sehun could care less about what the flavour is. Kai flumps on another couch beside his friends and spreads his legs, laughing about something funny or dirty. He has really thick, strong thighs. Fascinating.

Then Kai’s killing gaze turns in Sehun’s way. Alarmed, Sehun shifts his at once and gulps hard. Did Kai catch him staring? Sehun offers to sacrifice his soul to the demon, beseeching that Kai did not see him staring at him. God, this is embarrassing.

“Baekhyun,” Sehun calls in a low voice, which gets buried under the blaring Kool & The Gang song, when he spots his friend eating some girl’s face in the doorway. He picks himself up from the couch and hurries away before he could blush too hard in embarrassment and give himself away. “Baekhyun!”

Baekhyun breaks the kiss and spins around, looking two/three sheets to the wind. “Sehun! My man!” he cries, throwing his weight onto Sehun.

“I think we should leave,” he says.

A frown tugs at Baekhyun’s eyebrows. “Why? Dude, I just hooked up with this chick. She is hot, isn’t she?” he asks in a clumsy whisper, winking at the girl leaning against the door.

“She is also not your girlfriend. What are you doing? Jeni is here,” Sehun hisses, gripping his friend’s arm.

“Shh,” Baekhyun says and shoves him back. “She went home. Go find yourself a drink and enjoy the party, Sehun.”

With that, Baekhyun turns around to devour that girl’s mouth. “Why don’t you just swallow each other?” Sehun mutters and walks away. He finds his way to the kitchen and ignores everyone in his path.

“Hey, Sehun,” a familiar, pitchy voice jumps him as he drains the glass to it filled with tap water. Jeni smiles at him, her cheeks glowing pink.

“Oh, hey, Jen,” Sehun mumbles and swigs the cold water. “You’re still here?”

“Yeah. I forgot to get the keys. Have you seen Baekhyun?”

“I just saw him making out with a chick.”

Jeni’s eyes flung wide and Sehun bites his tongue. Holy shit, why did he say that?! “What?! Where?!”

“At the front door,” he says and bites his tongue once more. What did he say _that_?!

“That bastard,” she spits and storms out of the kitchen with her hands balled into fists. Sehun gapes at the wall, his feet frozen to the ground.

“Are you gonna stand there like that for the rest of the night?”

Sehun’s heart jumps to his throat while the fine hairs on the nape of his neck raise in horror as he slowly turns around to face Kai, who smirks at him. For a dumb moment, Sehun has the urge to turn his head around and check if someone is behind him. Kai is… looking at him. He is even smiling.

“Uh, no,” he lets out shakily and steps aside from the sink counter to stand by the island. Kai rinses his hands while Sehun tries to stop his heart from hammering against his chest like it’s trying to rip itself out.

“Why do you look like that?” Kai laughs, wiping his hands on the towel.

Sehun swallows and shakes his head. “I think I just ended a two-year relationship,” he sighs and gawks stupidly at Kai. Is Kai really talking to him?

The smile falters on Kai’s perfectly shaped lips as a frown follows. “Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“Nah, it’s okay. It wasn’t my relationship,” he mutters, dropping his gaze to the glass his hands are shaking around. God, god, god. Please don’t say anything stupid. Please don’t look stupid. Please pretend like you’re not stupid for once.

Kai does not say anything for a moment that Sehun thinks he’s left. He raises his head and finds Kai grinning at him on the verge of bursting into a laughter. “We’ve never talked before, have we?” he asks.

No. You’re a fucking handsome bastard that only entertains people from a higher social class and I’m a peasant. “No, I don’t think so,” Sehun says, hanging his head to hide the smile that takes form on his quivering lips.

“Are you in the first year?”

No. You fucking moron. If you had bothered to even look at me once, you’d know that I’m not in the fucking first year. “I’m a sophomore,” Sehun says and tries not to pout.

“Oh, really?” Kai asks, pushing away from the sink counter to lean against the island beside Sehun. Oh, god. Please don’t let him hear my heartbeat. “Can I get you a beer or something?”

“No, thank you. Beer tastes like shit. I don’t understand why people drink that shit. No offence.”

Kai smirks smugly. “None taken,” he mutters. “Well, do you wanna try something that tastes good, then?”

Sehun blinks as Kai urges him to follow him towards the bathroom. This is really starting to resemble one of his wet dreams. Is this really happening? His wet dreams have never been this lucid and rational.

Kai shuts the door and locks it. Sehun gulps and sneakily checks his reflection in the mirror. God, if he had known this would happen, he would have at least put some gel in his hair. “What… are we doing in here?” he asks as Kai digs into his jeans pocket. In his wet dream, Kai would be pulling out a foil of condom.

“Something fun,” Kai says and fishes out a packet of pills. The lopsided grin on his lips looks so good on him, oh god.

“Are those…”

“The gateway to heaven,” Kai mumbles and picks out a pill before holding it out to Sehun.

“Are you kidding me?”

Kai cocks a confused eyebrow. “No?”

“You literally just met me and you’re dealing drugs with me?”

Kai’s eyes narrow in perplexment. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t you leering at me out there?”

Sehun swallows. “You’re wrong?”

Rolling his eyes, Kai shrugs. “Fine,” he pops the pill into his own mouth and stares at Sehun for a moment. Then without a forewarning, he lurches forward and grabs both sides of Sehun’s face before smashing their lips together. Sehun gasps into rough kiss and fists Kai’s shirt in a bunch as Kai’s tongue slips the pill into his mouth for him to swallow.

Then ramming Sehun up against the door, Kai hoists Sehun’s legs up and brutally grips the undersides of Sehun’s thighs. Sehun struggles for air as Kai sucks his lips, grazing them with his teeth.

When he swallows the pill, Kai breaks the kiss to smirk at him. “Good boy,” he murmurs and claims Sehun’s mouth again while gently thrusting his hips against Sehun’s crotch. Sehun slides his hand into Kai’s hair to clutch it, kissing him back sloppily hard. Fucking hell, this is so much better than his wet dreams.

Kai releases him after a desperate moment and lowers him back to the floor. Then biting his swollen lip, he exits the bathroom. Sehun grins at his reflection in the mirror for a beat and cards his fingers through his hair before heading out. He suddenly likes parties.


End file.
